Thorin's Queen
by Arwen Ravenwood
Summary: Beside every king, is a queen. Now Gaia never thought she would find herself in that position. She had been a commoner after all; the daughter of a smith. But destiny wanted to change that, for reasons she didn't know why. However, despite all the heartache that followed, she would have it no other way...
1. Chapter 1

The heel of my shoes clicked as I walked through the vacant halls of the Blue Mountains. I hated hearing my movements echo. It reminded me of how empty this stronghold was compared with Erebor. The air was not thick with glad tidings. The walls did not vibrate with the smiths digging deeper into the rock and all was cold. People were forever grim with loss, and no matter the length of time we have spent inhabiting this stone refuge, we still did not belong.

We have known home in our hearts, and the Blue Mountains could not replace it.

I fear for my people.

I could not bear for them to remain haunted by the past when I knew they were capable of so much more. If only fate had not been so cruel.

Passing a maid, I smiled fondly as she bowed her head and made way for me. Even after all these years married to Thorin and made a royal, I could not get used to the formalities people had the habit of practicing when encountering those such as I. It was different for Dis who had grown with people treating her this way. She was a true born princess, while I had been the daughter to the humble master of smiths changing from commoner, to royalty the instant Thorin announced our engagement. So I could easily recognise the change in conduct and hated the thought of anyone thinking they must place me on a pedestal because of title and the like.

There were things I did to ease the contrast some, so I wasn't portrayed as a formidable figure of authority and made approachable. For instance, I adored knowing my people and servants on a personal level, like this girl.

"Evening Marissa, I do hope those red cheeks are the result of that admirer of yours, rather than from working too hard, a young thing like you."

Balancing a washing basket on her hip, her smile told me all I needed to know, as she shyly pressed her face into her shoulder.

"Griff is a charmer my lady, there is no disputing that."

"As long as he handles your affection with care then," I warned, lifting a brow.

"Well my lady, he can be as charming as he like, it still takes a lot more than a few words to earn my affection and know about it!"

My laugh left my body before I knew it and I could not stop. Only a dwarf would say anything of the like.

"That's my girl. Your love is an honour, make him work for it!"

"I intend to," she said with a look of determination that would make any woman proud, and then she softened her expression and took a step forward, "Would you like me to prepare your nightgown majesty?"

My smile faltered and I shook my head, "No, that won't be necessary."

Glancing down the hallways looking for other servants and finding none, I turned back to Marissa, "but I would like to be left alone this night, if you would be so kind as to pass the message along"

She inclined her head, conceding to my instruction without question, "Very well, my lady."

I placed my hand gently on her arm and was grateful for her loyalty, wishing her a goodnight before carrying on with my walk.

I was not far from my chambers now and strangely I was longing for its isolating solace, when usually I couldn't bear to be left alone when Thorin was gone traveling, since I found it suffocating. However, I needed the privacy today of all days. Entering and closing the door behind me, I thought to warm my icy fingers, noticing Marissa had lit a fire. They had been cold and pale since I woke and I could not stop shivering. Bathed in the fiery glow, I may as well have been a figure of marble when my body refused to accept the relief, so I didn't dwell on the pointless effort and stood in silence for a moment, to expel all the emotions I had been holding in.

There were only so many times I could fake a smile, and say the words 'I'm fine, thank you', while making a point to represent Thorin also in his absence, as a symbol of strength and leadership when all I wanted was to crawl back into bed and just lay there, till the day was spent. Even with all the practice I have had over the years, the act of being 'fine', hadn't improved.

I can still see the pity and sympathy reflected in my friend's eyes.

Catching a glimpse of the sealed chest hidden beneath the bed, I slowly wandered towards it, and kneeled to drag it out into the light. There was a fine layer of dust coating the top, after its last opening. I wiped it clean with my hand and touched the iron clasp, preparing myself to unlock it. I couldn't say how long it took before I gained the will to do so, but I was ready to face its content and relive painful memories, made so because of how precious they are.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes.

Then little by little the lid began to open, ever so slowly.

As the hinges creaked and suddenly halted, I knew all I need do now is look within and brave the anguish I knew was on the verge of claiming me. I am not weak. Time has eased the great sorrow I have known.

I was strong enough now, to not succumb to grief as utterly, as I had done when the loss was a fresh wound. Nevertheless, I touched my wedding ring and drew Thorin's presence from it to encourage me in carrying out the deed and it was more than enough.

And then, there it was.

All I had left of my son, drawn into a spare piece of parchment, so that I did not forget his face.

" _My_ _dear Thorne_."

The paper was worn some from my handling, the pencil faded to a degree, but still his likeness was there and I was reminded just how much he had looked like his father. My baby was a handsome wee thing, a child with a mass of black hair and vibrant blue eyes, and a cry that would wake the entire kingdom from their sleep, until I lifted him from the cradle and held him in my arms, with the sound of my heart beating, his only lullaby.

Such love and joy the boy brought with him on his birth, and for someone not yet an hour old, I discovered a new beginning to hope and wonder as I contemplated my baby's future.

What would middle earth have in store for my child as he grew?

Would it bring him happiness, as well its fair share of challenges, to make him stronger and wiser in their overcoming?

Would he be a warrior, proud and devoted towards his people?

These were all questions I asked myself, but for the most part, I enjoyed simply the present hour I spent with him, savouring it to the last detail, and I'm glad I did, while I was still his mother on this earth and he my little Prince of flesh and blood. For fate can be cruel, and I have tasted just how much…

Just then, the door behind creaked to let me know someone had entered, and there was some heavy movement filling the room, a toss of a cloak, the clink of a belt, the removal of boots hitting the ground. When it was silent finally, they came over and enveloped my body, pressing their face into the crook of my neck, with their beard scratching the exposed skin.

"Thorin," I sighed, relaxing into him, "you're back."

Instantly the worry I had building since he left dispersed and was replaced with pure relief. I couldn't stand the distance when he was gone, but would not prevent him from chasing hope, when rumour reached his ear about Thrain. I would be a poor person if I ever discouraged him to believe in his father's survival, and honestly, I too wished for Thrain's safe return, but judging by his silence and solemn attitude, that's all it must have been, rumour…

Gently I lifted my hand and cradled the back of his head, "Are you alright?"

He didn't answer, so I remained still until he had his fill of comfort from being near. Eventually he withdrew from his shell and reached to take the paper from my hand, and I felt his face widen into a sad smile, as his thoughts most likely echoed mine.

In his gruff voice he asked, "How old would he be now, our Thorne?"

I didn't want to think of the exact years he had been cheated of, so I answered "He would be a dwarf grown."

Closing our eyes, I could tell that Thorin was mimicking my visualizing the babe we had known for a brief amount of time, as a man. He would have been strong I am sure of it, towering over me, for I was uncannily short, even for a dwarf. Fragile and delicate as Thorin put it and like Fili and Kili, he would have enjoyed teasing me for it to no end and I would chase after the joker with a swift hand to swat him with. That was until his father would appear with a stern look and he would retreat into acting as a prince should, but his wilful spirit I think, would still shine through.

It was strange, but I could go into extreme detail of what I would imagine Thorne to have been like if he had lived, and it could all be wrong. Still, it was now a pleasant thing to muse over, though I'm not quite sure I would have thought the same when the grief was still raw.

Indeed, it has been many years now since my baby was taken. One of the countless victims devoured by Smaug, and today marked the anniversary…

I began shivering again and Thorin gripped me tighter, "I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner."

I shook my head reassuring him I was not upset and spoke true.

"You're here now, that's all that matters."

For a moment we were silent, and then his muscles stiffened and I knew what that meant. He got off the floor and walked around and I turned to watch him. He looked tired after his travels, worn and beaten. He needed to rest, but he wouldn't by my asking him to. Thorin did what Thorin wanted, and right now, he wanted to go on a rant about the Blue Mountains, I could tell by his critical glare, which was used to something far richer than this refuge.

Dissatisfied by his surroundings, he lifted his arms and flung them back down to his sides, looking at me when he asked, "What would have my son thought of all of this?"

That took me off guard and I spared a moment to consider my answer.

"Thorne would have been far too young for Erebor to have left its mark on him, but he would have understood that his father brought his people from the ashes, so that they had the chance at rebuilding their lives when others weren't so lucky. Thorne would have been proud, my love."

My words made an impression and he looked to the ceiling as if it weren't there, and was instead replaced by the wide open sky, where his son might be watching down on us from above and he heaved a mighty breath.

"I can make him prouder still," he stated, clenching his fists.

With need to be with him, I walked over with Thorne's picture still in hand and cupped my husband's cheek, "Thorin?"

Piercing me with his stunning blue eyes, I resisted blushing from their intensity and graced my lips with an encouraging smile. I didn't want him to hold back with what was on his mind.

He finally gave in and removed my hand to keep in his own rough palm, "While making the journey back, I stopped off at Bree. There, I was approached by a certain wizard."

He raised his brows knowingly and there was only one wizard who had any ties with the family.

"A wizard," my memory brought him to mind, though I had never met him, "you mean Gandalf the Grey?"

"The very same" he confirmed.

I was confused to why this meeting took place. Wizards did nothing by chance, and encountered no one without want or need, "And what did he have to say?"

Thorin led and sat me on the bed, kneeling down so that we were in line of sight with one another.

He was apprehensive, but earnest for my listening and understanding…

"Gaia-" he began, and my heart quickened, "he wants me to take back Erebor."


	2. Chapter 2

**This was a chapter I really wanted to get out the way because I feel the story doesn't truly begin for Gaia until after it, since it is mostly based on Thorin, Gandalf and Bilbo and I found it difficult to squeeze her in there. In any case, I'm glad its done now and I can truly focus on her as the journey to Erebor progresses. I hope you enjoy...**

...

I had never set foot in the shire. It seemed a place of fairy-tale, even for a dwarf living in Middle Earth, where all manner of creatures exist. I suppose it was the complete serenity that filled the air that made it so otherworldly, when I have not known it's like for many years. In fact, I thought my presence spoilt it some and guilt stirred within. The cruel world beyond its borders was not meant to touch this land, and I hated to think of the poor hobbit, whose life Gandalf would have us disturb.

Thorin carried on walking to the sound of our kin singing as I took in the last of the night air.

"If their singing was not enough, this would surely have been our sign" he called.

As I came to his side, so was there a mark carved into the wood of the large door glowing blue, the handiwork of a wizard I had no doubt.

We listened some at the ruckus within and I winced at what I could only imagine was happening inside. I have been the hostess of many a dwarf gathering and knew all too well their potential for tomfoolery and it got worse the more they eat and drank. My expression amused Thorin and he waited for their laughter, until he pounded hard at the door to announce his arrival, enjoying the deadening silence, which made for quite the contrast to the racket made previously.

"We don't want for them to be nervous before we've even spoken with them yet, my love"

I removed my hood and shook free the long curls confined within, letting them cascade down my back. It was a wild mane of hair that grew atop my head, and I was persistent in trying to tame it, by brushing it all back off my face with a metal band, except now and then a defiant lock would spring from its placement and tickle my cheek. I sighed from the constant nuisance and went to swipe it back, but Thorin beat me too it and was far more gentle than I would have been.

"Why not? It's the only time their quiet and they need to listen carefully to all that is being said this night."

I looked at him curiously, "I thought they knew the circumstance of our endeavour?"

"Yes, but the dream is fast becoming reality now I am here. That realisation must seem daunting. I know it is for me."

The look in his eyes was distant. Thorin was not seeing, only thinking of the weight this responsibility put on him with its undertaking. He was afraid at failing and I commended him for it, because it showed how much he cared for the success of restoring his people to their rightful riches and returning them to their lost home.

But he kept forgetting something very important.

I took his hand in mine, "please remember this though Thorin, everyone here tonight, is part of a company. The company of Thorin Oakensheild, perhaps-" I teased, "but this burden is for all of us to bear. If they did not understand that, then none of them would be here."

"My queen…" Thorin stared at me in wonder, brushing his thumb along my jaw when he was interrupted by the door opening. He did not break from the intimate gesture embarrassed, for that was not in his nature, but turned his deep blue eyes to look at the crouching wizard before him.

"Gandalf."

Inside was aglow with the welcoming flame of a burning hearth. I entered after Thorin, our heavy boots making the floorboards creek, while he spoke with the wizard.

"I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. I wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door."

Inside were many familiar faces and I smiled in greeting to them all, leaving my nephews for last. Cupping both their furry cheeks, I was unable to keep at bay the pride I bore them.

When Thorne died, it did not take away my motherly instinct and as children, they were without parents when their father fell in battle and Dis, Thorin's sister, became far too consumed by grief to care for them. I owed her a debt when I too had known such sorrow and she helped chase the shadows away, so not only did I return the favour in saving her soul, I made sure her children were cared for and understood the circumstance of their mothers moment of darkness, so that they didn't hold any contempt towards her when she was well again. That time I spent with them created a bond between us and I hold them dear to my heart.

"…allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Oakensheild, and his wife, Gaia."

I turned at mention of my name and could think of no other that the wizard was making the introductory to, besides the hobbit he had chosen to be our burglar.

His back was to me, scrutinising my husband with some intimidation, so I thought to save him from the hulking figure, before Thorin made some remark at the hobbits gawking, "It is a pleasure to meet you Master Baggins"

Spinning around on the heel of his foot, the hobbit first looked expectant and then did a double take in shock. I was used to the expression by now and yet still blushed. It was widely known that dwarf women do not have a reputation for being beautiful. They are small with robust figures and a considerable amount of hair growth, including beards, masking their masculine features. However, apart from some show of sideburns, my cheeks were smooth with no other great show of hair. My figure is considerably curvy, but fit, and other then the closeness of my brows, wide ears and rounded nose, I don't exactly look as other dwarf women do. Rumour has it there may be a human or two, thrown into the mix of my ancestors, which could be reason for my appearance. I couldn't eliminate the theory, but I didn't care explore it either. I look how I was intended, but I had a brain as well, and that was worth so much more than my exterior.

I extended my arm and could hear the boys behind tittering at my near exact height with the hobbit, choosing to ignore it.

"I do hope my friends here have been on their best behaviour while under your roof."

Nervous and guilty groans replaced the jeering.

"To the best of their capability I am sure, my, umm, lady?" The title came out a question, and I found his behaviour endearing.

"That bad, huh?"

This was a simple being. A homely being that spent days with his books and gardening. A group like us, well I can imagine it to be a little overwhelming and I thought it a shame that he suddenly had no clue in what was happening under his own roof and left in the dark regarding the reason why, since I could tell the hobbit was utterly confused.

I hope Gandalf knew what he was doing.

"And please, call me Gaia," I added.

My civility with Bilbo calmed him to a degree and he practiced my asking him to call me by name, "Very well, Gaia."

Some cheer had returned to his face before Thorin grasped my shoulder and leaned around me, to take a closer look at Bilbo.

"So, this is the Hobbit. Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?"

The hobbit was dubious, "Pardon me?"

Thorin was quick to elaborate, trying to demonstrate a point I'm sure, as he inspected the poor fellow all around, leaving Bilbo to chase after him, "Axe or sword? What's your weapon of choice?"

Tilting from his heels to his toes, Bilbo's hands clenched annoyed and bit back with his sarcasm, "Well, I have some skill at Conkers, if you must know, but I fail to see why that's relevant."

Thorin scoffed, "Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar."

Crossing his arms, he let the others laugh at Bilbo's expense and sauntered to the room a large makeshift table had been assembled. I glared after my husband, my eyes softening to convey my apologies, but I cannot sway Thorin's disapproval for Gandalf's choice of burglar, as he called the young hobbit, nor could I say I disagreed with Thorin's unease. The dwarves here were used to roughing it out in the wild and fending for themselves, Bilbo I had my doubts with.

There was a stigma attached to the hobbits, there is no denying that, but standing here alone with him, for the exception of Gandalf, I thought if I looked deep enough, I might see in him, as the wizard does, a spark of…

Oh I don't know what to call it, only that I find I want Bilbo to break that stigma and prove everyone wrong. I want him to stand the bravest and noblest out of the whole company. After all, I don't know much about hobbits really, so he may just accomplish all I have faith in him to do.

The hobbit and wizard allowed me entry into the room, where Dwalin had saved me a seat next to Thorin, with a bowl of warm soup to chase away the cold and I gladly accepted.

It was Balin however, who led the conversation Thorin and I were dreading, "What news from the meeting at Ered Luin? Did they all come?

"Aye," Thorin rasped, "Envoys of all seven kingdoms."

The dwarves bustled with joy and I tensed, dropping my spoon into the empty bowl and pushing it away.

Thorin and I made that tiresome journey fixed on the belief that we could rally more dwarves than we have here, to join our company to aid in its success. We had been so sure that inspiration would rally them to our side. Thorin, it was breath-taking to listen to his plea but his passion for the quest made others look away in shame. They're fears for failure won out in the end. Their fears of Smaug, and we left surely disappointed in them all.

"What do the dwarves of the Iron Hills say? Is Dain with us?"

Thorin roused in agitation. The fire that roared between the two cousins in argument still burned at the cinders, despite the distance we had put between ourselves and Ered Luin. I had shared in my input, for Dain's refusal to join felt much the same as betrayal and I had to tear the two apart before there could be any everlasting damage. Two hotheads like them, things were said and done unmeant and from past experiences, it would not take long for either of them to shrug off such disputes, but these were much greater circumstances and had more meaning to Thorin than anything. He would not be so ready to forgive Dain.

"They will not come. They say this quest is ours and ours alone."

As expected, the dwarves became solemn with shock, Dwalin earnest for me to say different to Thorin, but if that were the case, I would have done it by now.

"You're going on a quest?" chirped Bilbo.

I had forgotten he was there, standing in the corner and Gandalf tapped his arm, since he was in easy reach.

"Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light."

With his bare feet, Bilbo scuttled off in search for a candle and lit the wick and held it above our heads, as Gandalf produced and spread out a map.

"Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak."

The image scratched into the paper could not be mistaken for anything but Erebor. I didn't know there was a map leading there, but what was different was the symbol etched in the mountain.

"The Lonely Mountain," Bilbo read aloud.

Gloin, stroking his thick red beard, nodded, "Aye, Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time."

His brother was not too far and he backed up Gloin, with his ear trumpet sticking out the side of his head.

"Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold: When the birds of old return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end."

I winced at the mention of Smaug. It was habit from what I had witnessed the creature do, and what I have endured by his wrath. I suppose that's why the Dwarves refusal to join at the meeting cut so deep. I too feared Smaug from experience, they only by hearing stories and yet somehow it was they who didn't want to join the quest, when surely the roles should have been reversed, should I have been so cowardly.

If they were not my kin, I think there was a great capacity within me, to begrudge their fearfulness with disdain.

Interest had peaked in Bilbo, though it was shadowed by concern, he asked "What beast?"

Bofur unclamped his pipe from between his teeth and blew out the smoke, "Well that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age. Airborne fire-breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks, extremely fond of precious metals."

"Yes, I know what a dragon is," Bilbo declared, flexing his hands from the moisture appearing there.

I let the dwarves argue among themselves and pinched the map between my fingers for a closer inspection. I don't know how long I had been staring at it, but my silence was noticed.

"Are you alright Gaia?" Dwalin asked, "You're being very quiet."

I exhaled a shaky breath and signalled to the paper, "This map makes our vision, look so small a thing."

I took my fingers and walked the journey in three steps and when they stopped above the mountain I glided it away, as Dwalin watched. "What truly lies before us I wonder?"

"It's going to be tricky there's no denying it" he admitted, "but it wouldn't be a tale worth telling, if we did not encounter at least a few surprises."

A hand fell flat next to mine. I was wondering when Thorin would lose his patience with them all.

"Indeed, But we'll get nowhere if they continue to bicker like this" he growled.

With sudden urgency he sprung from his seat and ordered their silence.

"Atkât! If we have read these signs, do you not think that others will have read them too? Rumours have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for 60 years. Eyes look east to the Mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor? Du Bekâr! Du Bekâr!"

While the rest cheered, Balin was not as keen to submit, "You forget, the front door is sealed. There is no way into the mountain."

Twiddling his fingers, Gandalf produced a fine crafted key of Dwarvish make, ornately wrought, "That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true."

"How came you by this?" Thorin gasped.  
Handing the key over, everyone looked on in wonder, "It was given to me by your father, by Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now."

That strange symbol on the mountain, I looked sharply at its scribble and put two and two together. It was a door. Another entrance to Erebor and that key was our way in. No wonder I have not heard of such a map, and now the key as well. They must have been in the heir's safe keeping, which Thrain was after his father, so that the wrong hands wouldn't cease these two items for themselves and break their way into the kingdom without our knowing.

All this time I thought we were going to have to smash down the gates, which had toppled in on themselves midst the chaos, and risk waking a dragon we weren't sure was still alive or not, but now with this added detail, my confidence grew as it provided the perfect opportunity to slip in and out with the Arkenstone, so that if the beast was still there, we could conjure the army needed to take it down.

I must have missed something in my musings, because suddenly the wizard was rising to his full height, speaking words of anger and casting shadow with the power he emanated.

"Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is."

Back to his normal self, he finally had valid reason for bringing us to the shire in search of Bilbo.

"Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose. And while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of dwarf, the scent of hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest, and he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself. You must trust me on this."

Thorin deliberated for a moment, but he must have come to the same conclusion as I, "Very well. We'll do it your way. Give him the contract."

"It's just the usual summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements..."

As Bilbo stepped back to read the contract Balin had handed him, I swatted the elder away.

"Funeral arrangements? Oh really Balin, is that necessary!"

Unable to remain in my chair, and Thorin busy whispering back and forth with the wizard, I followed Bilbo out in the hallway, where he was pacing and reading the contract out loud.

"Cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one fourteenth of total profit, if any.' Hmm. Seems fair. The present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof including but not limited to lacerations ... evisceration … incineration?"

I stopped cold, my breath catching at the back of my throat. These words had impact in their brutality and I took support from the wall around the corner where none would see me.

"I feel a bit faint."

Bilbo put his head between his legs and I knew exactly how he felt as the familiar sensation began to prickle my skin. Constantly it was like a thousand needles hovered above my skin and when I began to think of how my son died, they dug in simultaneously spreading their cold like a poison in my veins.

I heard Bofur's voice then, perking up to play on Bilbo's obvious distress, unknowing that I too shared it, while out of sight.

"Think furnace with wings-"

I gripped the sides of my head and struggled to breathe at the pulsing migraine, which was result of my fighting to keep from imagining Bofur's descriptions.

"Flash of light, searing pain, then Poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash."

Tears started to trickle past my cheeks as memory recalled the sound of Thorne crying his last, when a mighty roar drowned him out and ended with sudden silence.

 _'_ _Nothing more than a pile of ash…'_

I didn't hang around to see how things would end up for Bilbo. I merely closed my eyes and followed the wall, which led me to a bench. There I flung myself down, and waited until the cold passed and I could gain some composure.


	3. Chapter 3

It was like a fog had descended obscuring all that was around me, while memory stirred and cast a scene taken from my past. All I could do was sit and bear reliving that terrible day, for I cannot escape my own mind, however much I might wish that it would offer me a moment of relief from the guilt that tended to swallow me whole in instances like this.

You see, I have blamed myself for Thorne's death since the day it happened. Had I stayed by his side after laying him to sleep, my kiss and bid for him to sleep well, might not have been the last I ever did so.

Instead, I had walked the fair distance to the gate where Thorin was on patrol, having been compelled there by that deep sound, like a storm brewing in the skies. Curiosity had won out on me and while standing there among others, I heard Thorin yell out that warning.

"Dragon!"

his eyes had been locked on mine, having picked me out from the crowd instinctively, when his claim was proven true with a shrilling roar, which ultimately commenced chaos.

A firedrake from the north, every child, of every race, knew some tale or another about such beasts and the carnage they inflict, wherever their great wings carried them, as well as the desolation that remained there long after they were done.

Smaug had come and the air was made thick with lives lost, as a city burned at the foot of the mountain.

Dale was the first to fall.

A city of men.

But I knew, like Thorin, why the creature had come.

We had been on edge that something terrible loomed over us, ever since our suspicions for Thror's sanity came under question and then confirmed by his insatiable hunger for gold, and nothing else. Thror had accumulated vast oceans of the precious rock in the treasury ever since he found the Arkenstone, and only could his desire be unmatched by a dragon, who I did not doubt had been beckoned by such a hoard we dwarves stood an obstacle to after Dale.

As soon as he was done there, it would only be a matter of time before he turned his eye towards us and unleash the same ruthlessness, and there will be no mercy. No mercy at all…

I had not released Thorin from my gaze. Not for instant. I was frozen to the spot, terrified at the prospect of having to leave my husband, for there was someone I needed to go save as he lay defenceless and sleeping. A single instant, one chance, that's all I had to convey my love for Thorin, less we never meet again in this life, and then in another, I was gone.

Determination drove me onwards, hoping Thorin would understand my actions as he shouted my name, even though it had to compete with thousands of others screaming. Forgive me, forgive me, I bade while my feet carried me further into the mountain and up one staircase and another, and then along countless corridors, fighting through a stream of stricken dwarves whose current I was working against.

As a mother during this unimaginable danger, all thought and reason turned to my child. His life was mine to protect and I could not allow him to remain exposed to ruin. From the moment he was placed in my arms, I promised him a place of safety. He belonged there, having fit so perfectly within them and in his absence, they were cold with absolute dread and yearning.

I stopped only once, when a crash of rock echoed throughout the halls of Erebor, alerting me that the creature had breached the gate, which meant he would make short work of the warriors there and make his way towards the treasury, which was in the same direction as where I was heading.

With a prey that my love was alright, I began to hope that because Smaug's steps were so much greater, it would make his path that much shorter, passing Thorne without distraction, so that I could slip into the room and exit with my son in tow, so that we might reunite with Thorin outside. It was a hope I held dearer, as I came to the opposite corridor where Thorne was. He had been so close. Only one last corner to come around and I would have been with him.

However, I had not been alone in wanting to assure the little prince's safety. My Father, Mighton the Blacksmith, had beaten me to the babe, probably having assumed I would be with him, so that he could protect us both. He looked a dwarf possessed with worry, as I was not there in the chambers and he lingered in the hallway hesitant to leave without me, so I made him aware, that for the time being, I was unharmed and close at hand. Upon hearing my voice, I'll admit we had both given in to our relief. A foolish error, since misfortunate was not done with us yet.

He was an impressive beast, shrouded by smoke and flame, and the kingdom quaked with every move he made towards us. Quickly, I had crouched down low behind the bannisters with my father mirroring my actions as we hid from the predator. But where we had adapted to being silent and still, a handful of frantic courtiers appeared to my father's right and could not contain their fear as they started shrieking, earning the dragon's full attention.

It was too late for them. Too late to run. Smaug turned preparing to spout his fire directly at my father and son, and when he did, his tail whipped back and caused the structure I stood on to crumble beneath my feet. I can still remember the heat and the bright orange flame as I fell, screaming not for my own sake but theirs.

I should have died with them.

But fate had other plans in store for me.

It was Dwalin who had found and pulled me from the rubble, clutching my limp form to his chest as he stormed through the gates with other survivors evacuating the kingdom. There I was passed over to Thorin who by seeing me broken and without Thorne, knew instantly of our child's loss, and he held me tightly as we grieved.

Erebor was gone.

My father was gone

And my son…

Had I stayed with him, there would have been no reason for my father to have hesitated as he did, and the three of us, we could have left together. They would still be alive, if it weren't for me.

Now, I am constantly haunted by a coldness which came with the absence of my Thorne and it has spread from my arms to my whole body.

My hands were gripping the edge of the bench when I heard him.

"so this is where you sneaked off to."

He stood tall in the hobbit hole, his voice stirring my heart and I became aware of it beating again and making the blood flow, if ever so slowly, through my veins. I smiled, but it was very weak and he noticed that, coming closer.

I knew he wasn't here to scold me for leaving the gathering, he was just teasing, but with my wits at a low, I could think of nothing else to say, other than to apologise.

"I'm sorry. I found that I needed to be alone for a moment."

It wasn't a lie. I can't imagine to have gone through what I had, without some commentator remarking on my state. It would have been a little too much to put up with and all would want an explanation then and there, while making their own assumptions and talking over each other. At least here, I had gone through it, and was returning to normal at my own pace without hassle.

"I didn't mean to disturb you."

Ever the gentleman, I grabbed Thorin's hand and it helped move the process of functioning properly along, as I made circular motions in the palm of his hand with my thumb.

"don't be silly, you couldn't disturb me, since I know it's because you care. Never think your presence is not wanted where I'm concerned."

He took a sharp intake of breath and looked down sharply at my hand. I had forgotten, the cold. Surely my skin must feel like ice to him, and he knew exactly how it was something which happened whenever I was upset.

"Gaia, what's wrong?" he asked, in a manner that was gentle, but made clear he wouldn't accept the subject being avoided.

I sighed, trying to find the right words with my mouth hanging open in waiting to utter them. They never came and the laughter of our gathering came to our ears, one more prominent than the rest, and it finally clicked with Thorin.

"does it have anything to do with what Bofur said?"

I bit my lip and he came down to his knees, drawing our entwined hands closer to rest beneath his coarse chin, shaking his head.

"Gaia, it is I who should apologise. I didn't think-"

I cut him off, "hush now, it's alright. If I want to join you on this quest, then I should expect some wounds to be reopened. Or at least, those which haven't healed to be prodded. I've got to be stronger than this. I can't freeze in terror at every mention of Smaug. It will do none of us any good."

The last part was more a scolding to myself, rather than an assurance for Thorin. Not that my claim did much assuring. He worried for me and it was not something I enjoyed. But then, did I not constantly worry for him, also.

His long hair streaked with grey, fell to curtain one side of his face as it turned grave, casting shadow, "you don't have to come Gaia. Perhaps…perhaps the best place for you, is to return to the Blue Mountains, where you'll be safe."

My temperament was tested; he wasn't going to do this to me. He was not going to leave me behind, left to wonder, left to assume the worse, left to gaze out onto the horizon, doing nothing with my days but waiting on him. I was done with that. I was done being the helpless wife when I was so much more.

"When you told me that Gandalf approached you about taking back Erabor, what was my condition Thorin."

He went to look away, but my free hand snapped up to keep him where he was. I didn't say anything, I just sat there unwavering, until he submitted. I was the sole person on this earth, who could bend Thorin Oakenshield to their will, it amazed most, but we were so alike and have been since we were children, both stubborn to the last.

Gaia and Thorin, a strong dwarf woman to be equal with a strong dwarf man.

Finally, with a heavy sigh, he gave in.

"That I wasn't to do this without you."

I nodded releasing him, though he wasn't best pleased with my defiance and slunk over to the wall, leaning his back against the wood. He didn't take defeat none too good and dare I say, there was an aspect of me that was guilty for being so stern. My life and the boys, were lives he would be accountable for, as were everyone else's, but we were his family, it was his duty to keep us far from harm's way, not lead us into the thick of it. If anything were to happen to us, he would only blame himself, so I could understand his hope, no matter how unlikely, that I might comply with returning to the mountains. But it was no use, I was as committed to this quest, as long as he was.

"That condition still stands," I stated.

Fiddling with the ring on my finger, Thorin had crafted it himself with dwarfish runes all around the band. My name and his engraved into the thick silver, symbolising how our marriage was to be like the second we exchanged vows, and even after we are long gone from this world. I reminded him of this.

"Thorin, the best place for me in the whole of Middle Earth is by your side, and no dragon will scare me away."

He had watched me in reminiscing over my wedding ring and grinned, probably remembering his asking of what jewel I had wanted to adorn the band. I never told him. I let him guess what I might prefer, and it wasn't until our wedding day that I saw it, the opal stone I had been told once rested in my mother's ring. She had died when I was young, but was still dear to my heart and I had always admired it. Something old, something new.

Thorin gestured with his head down the hall, his brows going down as he bit his thumb nail, "I cannot say the same for the hobbit."

Confused, I sat a little straighter, "How do you mean?"

"He's only gone and fainted."

"Fainted!" I leapt to my feet and peered off into a sitting room, where I caught glimpse of the hobbit sitting in an armchair, the one leg shaking.

"Don't worry he's alright, the wizards taking care of him."

I was disappointed in his lack of care for the Halfling. We couldn't all be as fierce as the legendary Thorin Oakenshield. My husband was none too keen on Bilbo as it was, and by fainting it wouldn't have earnt him any favours from the dwarves.

Passing by was the mentioned grey clad wizard, a pipe in his hand as he lectured the poor hobbit.

"None too kindly I can bet."

Gandalf's plan had indeed, inspired hope for success, however, I'll admit Bilbo's fainting didn't bode well for him joining the company, when we now depended on him so.

I mimicked lounging on the wall next to Thorin, "I did so want to believe…"

Noting my genuine disappointment, Thorin scolded with a hint of adoration he was trying hard to hide, so that I would take him seriously.

"You're always the same, trusting in people so whole heartedly my love."

I was quick to bite back, "It's done you no harm and you have never let me done yet."

"I wouldn't dare to" he laughed, but I couldn't join in, my mind wandered back to Ered Luin.

"the same can't be said for the iron hills. Everyone was relying on them. Now their self-confidence, their worth as warriors, its shaken…"

I signalled to the dwarves. Too young, too old, out of practice, these were their reasons to doubt themselves, and I could tell that they were re-evaluating the situation, with a new prospective that indeed it was to be just fourteen dwarves.

I wasn't looking, but I could feel when Thorin plucked a curl from the cluster cascading down my back and started twirling it around his finger, "Indeed, we can't all be like the Lady Gaia, for she is a force to be reckoned with."

I stole the curl back, "And I made sure you wouldn't forget that."

Cut clean across Thorin's cheek was a red scar that hadn't much faded over time. I pursed my lips, tilted my toes and kissed it, as it was myself that had put it there, many years ago, after a short parting, where I had gone traveling with my father, and an unexpected return, while the dwarves of Erabor had been in the midst of a tournament…

We remained lost in the memory, only Thorin didn't last long.

"I would take these men over an army of the iron hills, for when I called upon them they answered. Loyalty, honour, a willing heart, I can ask no more than that…"

His voice had faded into silence and it was moments like this which demonstrated his absolute potential for being a great king, for no dwarf was ever more worthy, or ever more indebted to his people than my Thorin. Nevertheless, as my eyes started to tear, I grabbed Thorin and drew him in tight. There was no space between us, but still it was too far for me. I wanted more of him, I wanted to be consumed by the man whom I was terrified for. I keep a brave face, but the fear of losing him, it was only natural I should feel it lurking within.

"Can I be selfish Thorin, if just to unburden myself from holding in my pleas? Can I ask as a queen fearing for her king, a wife for her husband, and the little girl for her best friend? Can I speak, on behalf of all my fears, regarding the risk this endeavour puts on your life, and beg for you not to do this. Because I can't **_bear_** to lose you."

It was his turn to hush me gently, "From my grandfather to my father, this task has come to me. there is no choice Gaia, not for me."

My tears had soaked his shoulder as they carried on falling. I closed my eyes in effort to stop them and breathed his scent, shuddering a shaky breath, reminding myself again, that I would not stand in his way. I couldn't take this chance away from Thorin and have him wonder _'_ _what if'_ for the rest of life.

Releasing him from my hold, I had him at arm's length, when I said, "Then we shall take the risk together. As always, I am with you."

I wasn't ashamed of my tears as Thorin wiped my cheeks clean of them with his thumbs. Nothing I could do would dampen his view of me and I appreciated that, for he has witnessed me waste to the bottom of an endless sea after Thorne died, becoming a shadow of the dwarf I used to be. However, he never did judge, never pressured, or lost his patience. Thorin waited until I was ready to break the surface of the water again and embrace the light. He stood by me, and I am indebted to him.

The rowdiness of the company started to pick up again, with a glass shattering and no one owning up to it, causing them to throw blame at each other until the argument got heated. They needed reigned in.

"Go, be with your men, and lift their spirits. Isn't that what men do before war."

He was hesitant as I was still shaking and I tucked my hands under my arms, ushering him on.

"I'm alright, really."

His lips came to brush atop of mine, as he whispered, "I love you," bracing his head against mine.

"and I you, now go."

He turned looking back over his shoulder at me just as Kili, with a drink in him, tackled Thorin and hauled him away, leaving me alone once more. Same as the hobbit I noticed.

I wondered…


	4. Chapter 4

It was obvious the hobbit was agitated. His hands kept clenching into fists, his legs were scarcely still and his head whipped at odd angles, as he let out the odd deep breath. I thought that he might have had enough disturbances for one night, but unfortunately, he would have to deal with one more.

"I heard you took a tumble, master hobbit," I said.

He buckled at the sound of my voice, peaking around his chair to see me walk in with a tray, which I rested atop a table between us, when I took the seat opposite him.

He nodded, his movements quite queer and exaggerated, "Yes, well I'm quite alright."

I reached forward and took the tea pot on the tray, careful to pour the hot steaming liquid into the two floral cups I had set out beside some biscuits.

"Here, I brought you some tea Dori made."

Twitching his fingers, he cautiously accepted, as if at any given moment I were to laugh and withdraw my offering.

I didn't want him to be uncomfortable around me, so I relaxed into the plump pillow, casually cooling my own tea, by blowing the surface, to assure him, that he was safe with me. And unlike my comrades, I wasn't about to spit food or knock him off his chair, or have loaded his cup with some suspicious ingredient.

So I added, after taking a sip, "Chamomile, and let me tell you it is **very** good."

He held it up in gratitude before taking a much needed drink, "ah well, Thank you."

We were silent as we indulged on the tea, with only the fire crackling the wood in the hearth to make a sound and I watched the flames dance, enjoying the simplicity of the peacefulness. This house must have been in his family for many generations, judging by the belongings accumulated in the room.

Portraits in beautifully carved frames, books, crystal ornaments and grand clocks. I should feel suppressed by the amount of stuff, but I didn't. Instead, it actually emanated a sense of comfort and security. I can see how it would be difficult for the hobbit to leave this, for a journey of uncertainty. He must have been reading my thoughts, because his cup briskly clinked back down on the tray drained of every drop, and he remained leaning forwards, his elbow at his knee.

"I'm sorry, but I have said all I have to say to Gandalf. I won't be joining you on this quest."

The hobbit was expressive with his hands, pressing his mouth into a thin line when he had finished with stating to me what he wanted to be his decision. I say wanted, because I wasn't so sure he was as adamant as he tried to convey.

"Bilbo, I came to be in company. Don't feel you must explain yourself to me."

He was shocked I didn't push the issue like Gandalf had. Shocked and suspicious, so he tried to hide both in carrying on talking, like the lecturing old grandparent, which no one listened to.

"What need do you have to go gallivanting into dangers such as these anyway milad-…Gaia. Riches, gold and jewels; seems a poor thing to risk your life for if you ask me."

Satisfied with his point, I couldn't have agreed more with the hobbit, for the topic of conversation surrounding the mountain has either been the dragon, or the gold inside, and personally it angered me, for the value of Erabor to me was not in its wealth, but the memories. Memories, that for years now, seem more like a fantasy of mine rather than to have been reality, or those of another dwarf, since who I am now, is not the same compared with who I was when I resided in the lonely mountain, and I missed her. I wanted to be her again and this quest was my means at achieving that, or at least to reinvent myself so that I came out stronger, and dare I admit, but happy also, because the sole instances where I am, is when Thorin is with me, and even then the deep sorrow within, is only being pushed down, and not eradicated.

"Wealth, no Bilbo I do not think it is wealth we wish to reclaim, nor is it purely our home. This journey, it promises something far greater to us. A chance at its journeys end, to discover who we truly are inside. For that is something many go on wondering, until their death and I think it a severe shame."

The look of Bilbo would have made you believe that I had just slapped him.

His eyes were wide, his mouth agape, blood was gushing to his face and turning it beet red. My words must have struck a nerve and it would seem that our gentle hobbit, was not as content here in the shire as appearances would suggest.

"Gaia."

Fili was standing side face, and even late in the night, his yellow hair was still vibrant. Unable to help myself, I sniggered at his effort to exude authority, because whenever he did, I saw the little boy in the man and wondered where had the years gone that one day, I would be handing the future over to one I thought to keep protected under my wing and in my stubbornness, I didn't want to let him, nor his brother, go.

"Yes, my boy, what is it?"

His eyes flickered to Bilbo and back at me, "they're starting."

Immediately my whole demeanour changed, and I stood without excusing myself from the Hobbit and let Fili guide me towards the deep humming, which was made by the dwarves and reverberated throughout the whole house.

Upon my entering with Fili, Thorin breathed his last of the pipe he held, and began to sing.

"Far over the misty mountains cold.  
To dungeons deep, and caverns old.  
We must away, 'ere break of day.  
To find our long forgotten gold…"

They were all there, assembled and deep in thought, merging their deep voices with their leaders when enthralled to do so, stimulated onto a spiritual level, the same as myself, who could only listen besides Fili and his brother who we joined.

The song of the misty mountains was still in progress, bringing some to their feet, when Kili, Respectful of those who were singing, quietly whispered in my ear, "I guess there's no turning back now, right Gaia?"

I pressed my cheek against him.

I suppose to anyone else, it was the way of the world that we certainly did retain the right, no matter what, to say when we wished to go no further in this quest, or to stand now and return from whence we came. However, that was not the case.

This was greater than mere obligation and I am reminded of when Thorin said that there was no choice for him, realising that he was not alone with that belief.

The song of the misty mountains, it has bound us, and together we are the company of Thorin Oakenshield.

"No lad, there is no turning back."

…..

I was gazing out the window, staring at the night sky when the wizard spoke after sitting silently smoking his pipe, a swirl of smoke drifting above him.

"You should sleep Gaia. From here on out, whatever the land has to offer will be our bed. Come rain, sun or snow."

It was hard to keep my eyes open, they were so heavy and of course, he was right, I should take advantage of the comforts provided here. Everyone else had, snoring away, savouring having four walls to keep out the cold, a warm blanket and a feathered pillow beneath their head. It had been a while already for me since I have had a proper sleep, having travelled here straight from Ered Luin. Nevertheless, still I looked out the window frozen in place, waiting on the stars to fade and the black sky to turn blue with the rise of the sun, anticipating the morning and all it would bring.

Without a reply or my complying to his suggestion, the Wizard's guttural voice, a raspy sound made at the back of his throat, went for another approach.

"I heard you talking with Bilbo earlier."

I grunted, "not much gets passed a wizard."

I heard the chair creak with his weight shifting and I myself perched on the windowsill as far as it would allow me to, relieving my arms of the tight chainmail cuffs I had tied there, which were the only intricacies to my armour, designed to keep it feminine, which I could be rid of for now, since the chainmail vest would require me to unlace the corseting back, to the hard leather chest plate on top, and I did not have the skill to do that by myself, and I was hardly going to ask Gandalf.

"I must admit; I was surprised by your passion for this quest. Even more so by your joining."

And there it was…

I was beginning to wonder where he was going with this. One sentence that leads to another, a wizard never asks a direct question.

I smiled, "that is because you do not know me, Gandalf the Grey."

And he didn't, we hadn't actually met until now, and this was the first we have ever spoken. I am sure he knew of me, many did, but I don't usually have a name in the minds of others. I was simply Thorin's wife, and as much as that was an honour and a blessing, I was my own person too.

Again there was a swirl of smoke blown by the wizard, "no, I am ashamed to say I do not," he turned away, "But I do admire your strength."

"my strength?" I asked, leaving the moon and stars behind, wondering what he knew of my strength.

I didn't sit, instead I stood across from the wizard where Thorin had when he sung, supported by the fireplace, and appreciating the heat hitting the back of my legs. Gandalf was reading me to the thread bare, and it wasn't something I was particularly enthusiastic for, so standing compared with his crouched form, made me feel like I had more control over the situation.

Gandalf's weathered face softened, despite my hostility towards him, "oh my dear, you have endured what many could not. You must credit yourself that."

I shook my head. Whatever strength I have retained after Thorne's death is not of my own doing. I have drawn it from other sources. Sources that had they not existed, then neither would I.

I live now because of Thorin, because of Fili and Kili, because of the sake of my people. They are my reason for carrying on, and It wasn't a healthy notion if you think about it, to live for the sake of others but not your own. I needed desperately to inspire a desire for living, which went beyond those I love.

I needed to believe that I had a purpose to be here. Something I carried with me in my youth, but was gone now.

Thus, I had a need to rediscover it.

in my musing's the Wizard had been awful quiet and not fixing his gaze on me, which I thought was his point, to dig into my brain and unearth the answers to his many ponders. I had practically laid them out on a table for him to feast on, but he had carried on smoking as if I weren't even there, perhaps a mist that his eyes glanced at warily.

I cocked a brow, "you seem nervous."

That rattled the old Wizard, not something which happened often I am sure and he began stuttering, until I interrupted in a manner he had not suspected.

"don't worry. I know why, and I don't resent you in any way Gandalf... I don't."

Truth is, I believe this quest would have happened even without the Wizard and if I was honest with myself, half the worry I felt for Thorin when he left the Blue Mountains was because I feared that he was trudging towards Erabor without telling me. Hence my relief when he returned unharmed, however, it did just prolong the inevitable. That moment Thorin knelt and told me he was going to take back our home, I have been waiting on it since we first arrived at the Blue Mountains, and there was no shock, no surprise on my part. This was his destiny. And no matter the circumstances, the world would have ensured it's happening. That I have no doubt of.

"thank you my lady, that means a lot to me."

The tension between the wizard and I came to end and I was glad it happened now rather than later during our journey. It's good that we could now begin on a new page, for what we are planning calls for no small amount of trust and then I recalled the common ground we stood on regarding the hobbit and asked, "Gandalf, do you share the same faith as I do in Bilbo?"

He smiled in an awkward crooked way, staring past the wall where I knew the Hobbit was lying sleeping.

"the thing I have learnt about Hobbits through all my dealings with them Gaia, is that they have a tendency to surprise you."

At some point, the thick figure with the red flamed hair known as Gloin had come to find us, a scrap of paper in one hand and an inky quill in the other. It would seem he was up to his tricks again, as the dwarf had a fondness for making money being poor in background as a merchant.

Scribbling our names, Gloin said, "then I have your bets whether he'll come with us tomorrow?"

Gandalf and I laughed, nodding our heads and simultaneously agreeing.

"indeed you do Gloin and I look forward to my winning's."

…..

"Gaia…"

I could feel that there were fingers brushing my cheek bone, rousing me from sleep along with hearing my name being called.

"Gaia…"

Both were having the desired effect and I woke slowly, with my site groggy and expecting to see someone to be there in front of me, but there wasn't. Instead the fingers belonged to the arm draped over my body, as I had curled up next to Thorin after leaving Gandalf.

"Gaia, come on lass, its time."

I groaned, never one to wake up easily, and childishly I knew full well that he couldn't move without my doing so first. But he was persistent and I won't mention what he did to cause me to quiver and bolt upright, shuddering.

At my reaction, he roared with laughter flashing me one of his rare smiles, and I hit his arm to make him stop with the ridicule, though I couldn't help giggling myself.

"I take it no one is here Oakenshield, otherwise you would not have done that."

Supporting his weight onto his arms, Thorin pushed himself up and was just inches away.

It must sound strange to call a man this, but he was so beautiful, his physical presence as well as his soul. Thorin could walk into any room without the reputation he has, and still be the focus of attention. He was a charmer, a jester, a loving and caring dwarf at the same time as being, complicated. Once you met, there was no chance at forgetting him. He left an impression and who better than I knew that, because ever since I was girl I have faithfully been his and his alone, as no one could shine brighter than he.

"Aye, they're gone, and we should leave now too, before the whole of the Shire is awake."

He kissed the tip of my nose and pulled himself up, lending me a hand.

"it's a long walk by foot," I commented as he disappeared for a second and came back with the items I had left on the windowsill earlier this morning, and for me to put back on, as well as my cloak.

Handing them to me, he clasped his own cloak into place, and checked his person for anything he might have forgotten, "the wizard said he could get us some ponies. Were to meet him beyond Bag End"

Fiddling with my cuffs, Thorin helped with the lacing on each, "I won't ask how he'll manage to swindle that."

He grunted, "nor will I. but we do need them Gaia."

After some last fussing about, Thorin walked to the door with his hand at the handle, "are you ready?"

I nodded, ready as I'll ever be, but just before Thorin opened the door, I snapped, "wait! What about Bilbo, is he with the others?"

His silence was my answer, and Thorin opened the door and left me standing in the hall weighed down by the disappointment.

I didn't bother to look; I didn't bother to wake him.

I had done everything in my power to sway the hobbit, and now; it was all down to him.

Nevertheless, before I left and as if by a chance, I found the contract Balin had drawn up. His signature was there, as was Thorin's, and I flattened it in plain sight next to a quill, my last incentive for the hobbit and I bade his home goodbye.

We met up with Gandalf where Thorin said we would, and to my surprise he did indeed have with him a line of ponies for us to choose from, passing on to us their names. Mine was a grey pony, her shaggy coat dark like storm clouds, hence her name Rainy. Personally, I wasn't much of a rider and the boys with Thorin, sensed my apprehension as they climbed onto their ponies backs effortlessly.

"what's wrong Gaia?" Fili called followed by his brother.

"so used to being close to the ground that at the slightest chance of being raised a few feet higher, your taken out your comfort zone?"

The two didn't even earn a glare off me. I just stroked Rainy feeling every beat of her strong heart, and allowing her to get familiar with my air as I did with hers. When I was finally ready, I swung my body onto the saddle and claimed the reins.

"carry on Kili, because I warn you now, short women can still kick where they need too, to cause pain."

clicking my tongue to the roof of my mouth, the pony trotted forwards and passed my nephews, who exchanged a genuinely frightened glance with each other, as Thorin parted some wisdom to the jesters and chased after me.

"I told you before lads, your aunt is a fierce dwarf. And I would never risk being the target of her wrath. Remember that."

With Gandalf at the lead, we begun down the road, with a chorus of whining to keep everyone occupied, with the waste in coming to the shire as we left without our burglar.

I was just waiting on Gloin calling in the bets when suddenly we heard a desperate plea being shouted and saw the unmistakable figure of Bilbo Baggins running to catch up with us, waving in his hand the contract I had left out for him, and I could not have been more pleased.

"I signed it!" he exclaimed with a proud smile, handing the parchment to Balin who made show of inspecting it with his eye glass.

"Everything appears to be in order. Welcome Master Baggins to the company of Thorin Oakenshield."

And with that they cheered, including myself, at the announcement. Though Thorin had only this to say before discarding the hobbits presence.

"Give him a pony."

the sweet satisfaction of being right was too much to resist and I could tell Thorin was begrudgingly anticipating my rubbing it in, so being the obedient wife, I couldn't let him down.

"you look a little sour Thorin. Dare I say you have learnt nothing in all the years being married. And that is, you must always listen to your wife."

I turned and caught the bag of coins heading my way and acknowledged the hobbit, tying the bag to my belt, with a disapproving husband shaking his head at my gamble.

"I'm sorry my love, but I just couldn't help myself, not after I was told that hobbits have a tendency to surprise you."

"what am I going to do with you Gaia," he groaned, and I steered Rainy closer to his own pony, Sharman, grabbing the back of his head, so he tilted further to his left to hear me tease.

"oh, I could think of a few things."

And just like that, Rainy ran on my command.


	5. Chapter 5

The winding paths, which led high and low were taken in our stride, with the terrain alternating between rock and dirt. The skies above, we travelled when they were a pure blue, when they were a cotton white, and then darkened to night, with nothing but the light of the moon and stars shining down upon us.

The rolling hills that were vibrant and lush during the day seemed darkly ominous now. Paths lost in the dark, most times we had powered through, but I had managed to sway Thorin into submitting to rest for a while, and our company, bar a few, passed out on the cliff's edge, so we had a view of the whole perimeter when dawn broke.

With his back pressed against the rock, I had fed Thorin and remained by his side, circling my finger within the palm of his hand until his eyes closed. Kissing his cheek, it was the only sure way to get him to sleep now we were finally in the midst of this quest, and I took his empty bowl and walked over to the campfire the boys were huddling around, adding it to the pile and taking a seat next to them.

"nothing like a warm fire to chase away your aches and pains," I commented, holding out my hands which the cool air had slowly turned blue.

Fili blew out the smoke he had drawn from his pipe. I couldn't say that I ever approved of his smoking, but he was a man and it would do no good for me to scold him now.

"don't be so harsh on yourself aunt Gaia" he said, adding cheekily, "You're not old yet."

I raised my eyebrows swatting the lads arm, "I would say not! I might have seen more than the average person has in their whole lifetime, but your right, I am not old yet; far from it in fact, Besides I was referring to the damn horse ride here."

Kili perked up, "go on then."

I cosied in to Fili, yawning "go on then what?"

"what have you seen?" he asked and Fili turned to look down on me, interested as well.

Truthfully, I was surprised that they wanted to know.

I had not been a part in any great battles like Dwalin or my husband. My stories were simple wonders, some I thought back on from time to time, like visiting an old friend that awakened the person I used to be when they had occurred. A common dwarf, free of obligation and duty. Back then, I could go where the wind took me, without worry and without care. I had lived my adolescence to the fullest potential and I am glad.

But rest assured, that did not mean I resented when that came to an end with my marrying Thorin. That just became a new adventure in itself; a story finally, rather than a series of tales, which I still was living through.

I spared a moment to think about something to share and lightened, "well, it would have been back when I was travelling with my father…"

 _He used to say not to wander far when there was a decent of mist across the land, especially when there was a lake nearby. He said this from when I was a small child and still when I was a woman grown_. _However, one night he had succumbed to the workload of his trade and we made camp beside such gentle waters, where no force could wake him, and that's when such mists crept up on us._

 _I will admit, his warning made me slightly, wary. It couldn't be helped, call it an effect of the little girl inside of me, who woke after having such terrible dreams of the water and mist. Except it came to me, that although my father made me cautious, even fearful of these elements, he never gave a reason, leaving me to my own wild imaginings._

 _And nothing could prepare me for what I did see._

 _Even in those days, you had to keep watch and I was up on the bank making some arrows to pass the time and I happened to notice what was like a torch being waved off in the distance, from the way the light trailed in odd directions. A maddened firefly almost._

 _I called, thinking it was someone stuck on a boat, after their oars had drifted to the bottom of the lake, but there wasn't a reply. Nothing to indicate they had heard me until the waving stopped, and the light just hovered there, too bright for fire and far too perfectly shaped, like an orb. It felt as if, it was watching me, a conscious presence now that it knew I was there._

 _I called again, a soft greeting this time as my fear slowly retreated, 'hello'._

 _It burned a stronger, pure silver as a reply and I dropped my handiwork to inch closer over the edge, lying flat on my belly and gasped as I no longer beheld one orb, but countless more rising from the water's surface. Then, when they reached the same height, something miraculous happened; movement, like dancing… they were performing for me I realised._

 _Elegant it was, and I had tears in my eyes at the wonder, clapping a song with my hands, and laughing and smiling. Oh if only I could describe it better, to let you see what I see since its still so clear to me, with no fault as the years have passed._

 _And I swear to you, there were figures in those orbs, tiny and beautiful creatures._

 _I have heard the word fairies thrown about since then, but I don't care to label them at all. It seems far too restrictive for such free spirits._

 _So now I know what resides in the lake and that they're not anything to fear._

 _By the time my father woke, I was still there gazing out on the scene, though it had long since ended with the beginning of morning._

"…I never told my father. I never told, anyone actually, until now."

There was a silence as the boys reflected on what I had told them, and then all too suddenly their thoughts and feelings consumed them entirely and their heads snapped towards me curious and questioning.

"you mean to tell me fairies actually exist?" Kili started, his face scrunched with his better judgement wanting to doubt my tale, for there was no evidence besides my claim.

Fili was the same as he turned to the wizard asking, "that's not possible is it Gandalf?"

Hunched down on himself, the wizard smiled, "there are few these creatures have revealed themselves to; your aunt was honoured with the chance, one I myself have not been bestowed with."

I was surprised at that, thinking wizards had seen everything the world had to offer and more, which made for my experience to be held a little dearer for it, to know they trusted me with their existence, and I wondered why it was they did. What was it about me?

I didn't think on it for long, as a strange noise stirred the peaceful night air, making us all look up and the hobbit, he came scuttling our way, ducking and twirling all angles to pinpoint where the faint growl had come from.

"What was that?" he hissed with panic, and since this sort of nervousness and fright was rarely something the boys saw in the dwarves, they could not help themselves but to toy with the poor Halfling, but how I wished they had left him alone.

"orcs."

I flinched at Kili's answer, knowing that the ever alert Thorin Oakenshield would have heard the vile word too, and jerk awake because of it.

Tucking my head between my shoulders, I cautioned them to cease the joke, but they continued as the hobbit had the desired reaction, each giving their input.

First Fili.

"Throat-cutters. There'll be dozens of them out there. The lowlands are crawling with them."

And then Kili.

"They strike in the wee small hours, when everyone's asleep. Quick and quiet; no screams, just lots of blood."

I peered through my lashes at the dread marking Bilbo's face and then confusion when the boy's started laughing, though Thorin made sure it did not last long.

He had abandoned his makeshift bed and stomped near where we were gathered, a sour expression as he beheld his nephews as children, and not the mature men he expected them to be by now.

"You think that's funny?" he spat, "You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?"

The boys backed off like scolded pups, guiltily covering their foolishness.

"We didn't mean anything by it."

Where I could see that the excuse was true, and that they were just being lads, I understood more than their uncle ever could, considering the history there was between him and those monsters, and because of that I couldn't say he was blowing the matter out of proportion, and allowed the boys to be scolded, so that they could learn from their mistake and be more considerate to manage their tongues with care, the next time they wished to make fun.

"No, you didn't. You know nothing of the world."

He had thrown the words behind his back, and walked to the edge of the cliff, looking out over the valley, but his mind was burdened with a repeat of the past. I could hear it like a siren, and see it playing in his head like a production.

I did not need to listen to the retelling of this terrible war, Balin was reciting to the boys.

I knew the tale already.

But what hurt me the most, was the guilt that I had not been there to fight alongside my Thorin.

 _It had not been long since we had arrived at the Blue Mountains. Thror, he was not content with being kept by hosts and to owe them anything. He was a king, and a king needed his own kingdom and if his was gone, he would reclaim another._

 _Moria._

 _Compared with the beast Erabor had been lost to, the orcs which kept that mountain stronghold seemed an easier foe to conquer, and I suppose the dwarves of Erabor felt as if they didn't have much more they could lose, and wanted to vent their anger out on something, so why not the orcs._

 _I could understand that; I would have been there with them._

 _But as I said before, that had not been the case._

 _It must have been just three months since Thorne's death and my fathers as well._

 _Now I had, had my share of injuries after the fall, of course I did, wounds marking my flesh that had healed on the journey and countless bones too._

 _But a broken heart. Fractures like tiny hairs that just keep cracking, I could have screamed and writhed with the agony, only I didn't. My losses didn't have that effect on me. Instead, the life inside of me had been gulped by something dark, or rather not gulped, suckered, so that the essence which made me, me was empty, and I was a fragile, hollow shell._

 _incapable of speech, incapable of moving…I couldn't even blink. I just stared vacantly up at the ceiling from the bed Thorin had carried me to after wheeling me in a cart for those months of travelling._

 _To think back on how much of a burden I must have been; it made me sick and ashamed, to where I wish I could go back. But even if I did, I don't think I would have acted any differently._

 _I was traumatised, and my body and soul needed to shut down for a while to re-account for everything that had happened from my birth to the present day, and when all that was done, only then could I make the decision whether to wake up; or give up._

 _I just had to find something to keep living for._

 _What's stupid is that I still can't even remember Thorin telling me that he was leaving for battle. My skin was so cold I was numb to his hand in mine; his lips against mine, and his voice reaching my ears…._

 _He was gone, and I didn't even notice!_

 _It wasn't until a week later, a flicker of my senses started working again, when the door to my room opened._

 _The steps were not sure of themselves, they dragged across the floor, so very slowly, and the chair next to where I laid, they had slung themselves into it and sat in silence for the longest time, watching my unresponsive body._

 _Finally, it must have been too much and they wept like they had never wept before and all those times where they could have, amounted to that moment._

 _It was my Thorin, and he sounded so lost and alone and afraid…_

 _His pain erupting within what had been my tomb, it called me from the depths of my despair, and it reminded me that there was still someone, who needed me._

 _The more he kept sobbing, the more awake I felt, like I had been dead, and my body wasn't strange to me anymore; I could move and I could speak._

 _"_ _Thorin…"_

 _Moisture returned to my eyes and my vision was not so hazy and after a few blinks his face became clearer; his blood and grime stained face._

 _"_ _Gaia…you're okay?"_

 _I looked at him and lifted a shaky hand to one of the various cuts._

 _"_ _what happened?" I asked._

 _By the time he had finished telling me about the battle, he was on top of me, his head nestled in the crook of my neck, while I brushed my fingers through his tangled hair and hushed him._

 _My strong warrior prince, he too needed comforting and that was why I was here. I loved him, and he kept my heart beating._

 _My Thorin Oakenshield, I found in him my reason to live and I stood as I did today because of him._

 _And right now, he needed my comfort._

Climbing over Fili, I followed the imprints Thorin's boots had made in the dirt and came up next to him.

I did not say anything, because there wasn't anything that I hadn't said a thousand times before and sometimes, as impossible as it seems, I find that words just aren't enough with some circumstances. So I connected with his pain instead, a simple thing, as all I need do was look into his eyes, which were like deep oceans of emotion and touching his cheek, I sparked back his strength.

Balin came to the end of his tale, and the entire company was awake and standing in awe, just staring at my Thorin. I smiled proud that I could call him mine, this magnificent dwarf, who carried my complete and utter faith and devotion, same as everybody else's.

"…And I thought to myself then, there is one who I could follow. There is one I could call King."

Humbled, Thorin braced his company and inclined his head, keeping me in tow as he walked between them and the fire.

"But the pale orc? What happened to him?"

my stomach turned in an unfriendly way at the hobbits mentioning of that vile monster's fate.

Azog the Defiler; if he rallied my anger I could only imagine what he did to Thorin, who had watched in horror so much death and destruction by his hand. The tears he had shed on his return from the battle, they had been for his grandfather, and his father also.

Family was not something people expected to have taken away, so when it happened and in the most terrible way possible, even the bravest did not know how to handle it, besides with hatred for the source.

"He slunk back into the hole whence he came. That filth died of his wounds long ago."

… and I truly hoped that was true, because an orc like Azog would not take lightly being cheated of something he had started.

He beheaded the king; I started to have doubt in Thrain's survival, and he had been so close to killing Thorin too.

If he wanted an end to the line of Durin, there would be nothing that could stop him from acting on that vow.

But I had a vow of my own, so that if the orc came to collect what was mine, he would have to go through me first.


	6. Chapter 6

More distance was covered, and we dwarves had another meal to eat and a night to take advantage of when it approached, and this campsite was no rocky Cliffside, but a peaceful meadow and grove, where stood the fallen foundations of a cottage.

I watched as the wizard wandered to the crumbling structure and lay a hand on the stones that would resemble its walls.

He spoke something but I was too far to hear him, and when my husband separated from the group, I did not haunt his step, knowing that the two had a tendency to clash. So instead, while I surveyed my surrounding's I did see that my nephews, mischievous as ever, were slipping off somewhere, thinking they had gone unnoticed. I only grinned, as their uncle would not be pleased to see that they were gone, having ordered that they keep watch over the ponies. Rolling my eyes, I whispered into Dwalin's ear about my pursuit of the youngsters knowing he would cover for us if, or rather, when Thorin raised questions.

Dwalin was just as fond of the boy's as I was, and he gladly took responsibility for the ponies until I promised to tow the two back by the ears, and I kept on my person the bow my father had made for me.

I was a fair tracker, and when I rose over the gentle hill, both their yellow and brown heads were of shocking contrast against the lush grass, and I heard them bickering, as if they were still children.

Without giving myself away, I gained on them ever so slowly, where Kili was standing with his own bow drawn, while his elder brother lounged on the ground muffling his laughter.

"they're too far Kili; you're never going to hit them."

I squinted and saw what Fili had meant, when out from their burrows, a couple of rabbits were dashing about, making for a difficult target, which Kili aimed too high ever to hit, and had not judged the wind fairly.

"missed again."

His brothers jest caused for Kili's shoulders to slump, just that little bit and I was reminded of when they were children, under my and Thorin's guardianship, while their mother took the time she needed to heal herself, after her husband's loss.

With Fili, Thorin really took the lad under his wing, and had been wary almost of how I would react when he groomed him with an education concerning the duties a prince and eventual king would carry. But he need not to have feared, since now that Thorne was gone, Fili was Thorin's heir, and I honestly did not have it in me to even consider resenting either of them for it, however, I could not overlook how they left poor Kili behind, alone in the pretty big shadow's they casted.

Thus, I was determined to give the boy, something of his very own, and I passed down my knowledge of archery to him as a result. Many evenings' I would train him, and Kili proved to be an attentive student to all that I said and did, so he learned quick for his age and as a man, he was a very capable archer, except when he was put under pressure like in this instance, and wanted to prove himself earnestly, in order to gain his brother's admiration, which was why he was missing now.

Kili shot again, and the arrow whistled farther than it needed, and became lost somewhere in the grass sea, while Fili laughed harder.

"missed."

Sighing at Kili's obvious disappointment, I never did believe a student could learn no more from their master, and I swiftly armed my weapon with an arrow, pulling the string back to my chin, and without much thought, I released it, allowing the arrow to sail through the air, until its landing, caused for a rabbit to be still.

"you missed," I declared from behind them, and they spun around in shock, "but I did not."

"Aunt Gaia!" Kili gasped, with his bristled jaw hanging open, "how did you manage to do that, they were too far out of range!"

I shook my head and tucked back the curl which always escaped from the rest to whip my cheek.

"you think too much Kili. An archer must rely an instinct, since you know where it is you wish for the arrow to go."

I approached and stretched my arm to cup his shoulder and he gazed down at me, hanging on my every word.

"trust in your arm; in your eye," I whispered, "they know what to do."

Tentatively he nodded, knowing this already for I had told him often enough during our lessons, and he clutched his bow tighter between his gloved hands, inwardly scolding himself for the folly, which he wasn't totally to blame for.

"and you!" I yelled in a total change of character from the pleasant dwarf I had been in order to reassure Kili, "you should not tease your brother as you did!"

Fili flinched at my reprimand, and his eyes grew wide when I reached over with my bow and smacked his head with it.

He went to protest, but thought better of it when I gave him one of my warning glares, and it amused me how I could turn these warrior dwarves into timid children again, as the eldest soothed the spot I struck.

"now, all you need do is hunt down nine more, and that will be Bombur sorted. So good luck with feeding the rest of us."

I went to make my leave, only the boys were not so keen with the challenge I had set them with, and exchanged worrisome glances, since the sun was well on its way to slowly sinking downwards, to make room for the moon.

"come on aunt Gaia," Fili pleaded, getting up onto his feet and brushing off his trousers, "we'll be much quicker with you by our side."

I glared at their attempt of convincing me to stay with flattery and help cut their work load down, but my fingers betrayed me as they flexed, having enjoyed wielding my bow for a change, seeing as I preferred my two wee axes, and Kili smirked.

"yeah Gaia; you know you want to."

The corner of my mouth twitched, though I tried hard to control my want to smile, but I could not deceive either of the boys, since they knew me too well, and with a giddy skip, I joined in with their fun.

…..

Before we came onto our camp, the boys and I parted ways as they made off to relieve Dwalin from the responsibility Thorin had given them to start with, and I hauled over my back their share of the rabbits we had caught.

Bofur already had the fires burning and I could see him crouched down on the floor chopping at something with his dagger and adding it to the pot, which the flames licked beneath to bring to a boil, and from being so close to the heat, he wiped at his brow and puffed out his cheeks, not noticing me, until I disturbed him.

"you're our cook tonight then?" I asked, coming around him to his right, and he scrunched up his face when peering up at me, his hand shadowing his eyes, and then while it was there, he scratched persistently beneath his hat.

"that I am!" he sang, and then he carried on picking up something small for his knife to puncture, but he waved the blade at me first, before he did so, cautioning me with an adamant glare to his large brown eyes.

"and don't you go complaining about what's on the menu. I've already heard it all from the lads."

I quirked a brow and tilted onto my toes to see that the he had somehow scrounged some potatoes, after Bombur had made quite the impressive dent to our food supplies, managing to snack on them as we were busy riding, and navigating through the land.

"where did you get them from?" I asked, and he tapped the earth below him.

"mother nature herself! They were growing by that cottage where the wizard and Thorin were arguing."

I peered at the mentioned cottage, where the dwarves were gathered and saw how colourful a bunch they were, as the mother hen, Dori, coddled over his younger brother, and was currently cleaning the boy's freckled face, by spitting into a handkerchief and wiping it harshly along Ori's cheek, while in the background Nori was gagging, but not so revolted that he couldn't stop himself from slipping a hand into Dori's pocket, looking for coin.

Then there was Gloin and Oin with the greedy Bombur. They were chatting consistently to each other, as well as Bifur, who sat more or less limp on a tree trunk, as his arms hung forwards, with a vacant expression, which was the result of the axe which was imbedded deep in his skull, and could not be removed, as we feared he might fall dead with it gone.

The quieter group was then with the snowy whiskered Balin and my brooding husband, since I was not the only one who would badger Thorin for his anger, as he leaned in close and was frowning deep creases between his brows, with a hardened look, and I imagined it was because of Thorin's argument with the Wizard. However, whatever the old dwarf was saying, Thorin would soon have someone arguing back on his behalf, as I watched Dwalin saunter directly towards them, having come from the woods, where the ponies were, and he would vouch for Thorin no matter what, especially when they shared opinions concerning the Wizard, which were none too positive to say the least.

Speaking of the wizard, I did not see him among the dwarves, when he should have been the more noticeable because of his height, and even taller hat, but I didn't dwell on it too much, and from the options available to me when it came to company, I decided that I would rather stay with Bofur, who seemed to need help with dinner.

"Bofur," I quizzed, "when you said you found these potatoes by the cottage, you didn't mean from a barrel or something, did you?"

I knew I had caught him out on something as he tried to avoid eye contact with me, and curled the one he held in his hand more tightly, keeping its appearance from me, but there were others in the grass and I went through them, seeing the same thing over again.

"Bofur," I pushed, lifting a piece he had already butchered into a tiny speck, "where did you find these?"

he stared at it earnestly as I brought it closer, sinking his head further down between his shoulder blades until he could escape it no more, and cast his dagger aside.

"alright!" he cried, "they're not exactly…fresh."

"fresh? Bofur, these things are rotten."

My finger dented some, and they were black and blue which was why he was cutting them so small, and thought to disguise them better in a stew. But I knew one thing, if any of the lads had eaten this, and woken suffering through the consequence, Bofur would have to run fast and very far indeed to escape Thorin's wrath

"I couldn't find anything else."

Bofur drew his knees to his chest and looked more than a little defeated, having to start from scratch in figuring out what to cook, and these men were hearty eaters, so what he made would have to satisfy their bottomless pits, well into tomorrow, as we usually didn't bother with breakfast, so it was a fortunate thing, that Fili and Kili had scampered off, otherwise we wouldn't have what I carried on my back.

"well, luckily for you, me and the boys did some hunting."

The ropes over my shoulder had the rabbits hanging there by their legs, and I hauled the weight off my back to hold them up before Bofur, whose face lit up when he smiled that toothy grin, which even his beard could not mask.

"How does rabbit sound? and we got plenty so we could have a whole one each."

"my lady, that is music to my ears!"

Eagerly he rubbed his hands together and cackled, taking some of the load as I sat down, perching a rabbit on my lap, with a knife at the ready.

"here, we will be quicker skinning them if we do it together."

Bofur's enthusiasm died down for a minute and he fiddled with the ears of his hat, which sprung up on either side of his head.

"ah, about that," he chuckled, but in a way that tried to disguise his hesitation, to make it a false sound, "I'm not so good with the eh…"

I saved him from saying anymore and made a clean cut on the rabbits back, which with a strong arm, I was able to pull apart, in order to remove its furry skin and leave behind just the juicy meat. Last was the head, which meant for me to give it a good twist for it to pop right off, and at that point Bofur's complexion turned green, as what used to be a rabbit was ready to be skewered and cooked.

It had taken me all of one minute without fault, since I was used to doing the deed and knew the proper way to did, instead of cutting and slicing as the skin came away slowly, which took far longer.

If he found it a chore I would understand, but making him feel ill…

"you're not serious?"

Bofur would need a stronger stomach than that considering the foes we risked encountering out on the road, and where I was hoping it was a joke, he held back a retch.

"uh, I'm afraid so."

I laughed, and shook my head, as I should have figured things would not go without hassle.

"fine, you can make a spit to roast them on, deal?"

Bofur smiled, glad that I didn't tease him too much on the subject, since the others would not have let him hear the end of it, and we carried on with the routine, calling forth each dwarf as one by one, the rabbits were crisp.

….

"oh, that hit the spot," Dwalin groaned on a full belly, licking his fingertips, and casting aside the remains of his meal.

"I have to agree with you there, brother," Balin spoke around his last bite, "and I shall sleep well because of it."

The rest of the company spoke similar things, as Bofur plated up the last two, having been eating his while cooking, and since my role was more hands on, Thorin had to feed me mine, by holding out the rabbit for me to take bites out of with a chuckle.

"here Bilbo," Bofur called to the hobbit, and he came over blotting his mouth with his sleeve.

"take these to the lads will ya."

He handed one to Bilbo, and distracted, Bombur went to take advantage and steal the other one away, but he was slow and Bofur slapped his pudgy, thieving, fingers away.

"by Durin, have you not had enough!" he cried, and the rotund Dwarf puckered out his lips and welled up his eyes like a scolded child.

"good hunting love," Thorin whispered in my ear proudly, and I nearly let slip that credit should go to Fili and Kili also, but stopped myself from the folly, and only beamed up at him.

"what can I say," I replied, "it seems I haven't lost the touch after all these years," and I indicated to my bow, jutting my chin in its direction.

"no you have not."

In the absence of the wizard, Thorin's mood was slightly more chipper than usual and that was even after Balin berated him, but his scolding's never did have much effect, and were more of an annoyance than anything else, which he could easily tune out, and since Thorin was his king, Balin just had to take his indifference as it was.

However, if I disapproved over the king's behaviour, Thorin had no choice but to listen for the very reason, that I was his wife, and no more need be said to justify that claim.

"so I take it you managed to aggravate the wizard away."

As soon as I mentioned it, Thorin rolled his eyes and became closed off, inching away from me.

I sighed, for a king Thorin might be, but he was still such a typical man no matter his title.

"don't you start; I've already had Balin on my case."

"with good reason!" I exclaimed, loud enough to cause the others to pretend not to have heard me, and instead of him avoiding me, I gripped Thorin's face and turned it back my way.

"Thorin," I said sternly, "it will do no good to upset the Wizard."

"he wanted us to seek refuge with the elves," he spat to defend his actions, but I saw no value in it.

"I hold no favour for the elves I'll admit, but not all are like one in particular."

This was something I held true, and what made me different compared to other dwarves concerning the opinion we had of elves, since I did not lay the blame for the fate of our people, on the entire race.

That honour belonged to another, but I tried not to think about him, less the anger he caused, get the better of me.

"There is a reason why Gandalf is here my love; he is to advise us. He knows more about this land than we ever could, so we need him if we are going to succeed. Would you really risk this quest because of your pride?"

If I were anyone else, Thorin would have snapped by now with how personal I struck him, but with me he took the blow, knowing he needed it sometimes to get him back in the right frame of mind, to make for a strong and selfless leader.

"…so if he comes back; I want you to apologize."

I tried to keep a serious appearance, but when Thorin grimaced at the idea of admitting fault, to someone he wasn't particularly fond of, I had to laugh.

"I thought that was pushing my luck a bit," I joked, "but still; be civil at least. That's all I ask."

When he didn't say anything, I laughed that little bit louder.

"you actually have to give it some thought first, don't you!"

When I pointed out what he was doing, his shoulders buckled and he joined his head with mine.

"I suppose I am," he confessed, "But if it's what you want, I will try."

"good," and I pecked his lips, joining in with the company's talk and sharing my input, when the topic turned to ale, as it was a good drink for instances like ours, where we surrounded a campfire besides friends, and so we began telling one another of where we had tasted the best concoction.

Suddenly, I felt something sharp strike the back of my head, and I had to stop myself from throwing abuse at the air from the pain, as I ran a hand through my hair, to find a welt already.

turning to the forest behind me, there were two faces poking out from the brush.

'Gaia!' they mouthed looking rather panicked and beckoning me to them urgently.

My stomach twisted as I dared to think what the matter was, and I nervously rose to me feet, but Thorin did not let go of my hand.

"where are you going?" he asked with a certain glow to his complexion from the merriment he was surrounded by.

I tried to think of an excuse and then said the only one that came to mind.

"…I have to pee."

Thankfully, he didn't care to delve into the issue to see if I were lying, and took my word for it, which allowed me to slip away, cautiously at first to avoid suspicion, but then when I had a few inches left between me and the boys, Fili and Kili, I ran towards them.

It might have been more appropriate to start with questions first, but the pain lingering at the back of my head had to be answered for and I swung my arm to smack the closest one to me, which happened to be Fili.

"Ah! By Durin Gaia! I was just getting over the last hit you gave me!" he whined, grabbing his head and hissing out the sharp pain I hoped throbbed for a long while after.

"well think better next time you want to get my attention."

I had little sympathy for him, and Kili was wary to take a step away from me, scared I would hit him next when he least expected it.

"yeah sorry about that, but we have much bigger problems."

He and a crumpled Fili exchanged a guilty glance.

"what do you mean?" I probed, remembering then that the hobbit was supposed to have given them their food. Only that had been a while ago now, and he hadn't re-joined the group.

"…where's Bilbo?"

Soon as I asked they became mute, tightening their mouths into thin lines and that sickening feeling got worse.

"boys."

I had to force the word out through clenched teeth, channelling the fierceness of their mother who even at the age they were now, they could deny her nothing, and wouldn't dream of lying, through fear for what she might do.

Dis loved her children, but there was no chance in hell that she would ever let them cross her.

"well," Kili started, scratching the back of his neck and staring up at the tree tops, "he uhh…he may or may not be in the clutches of a couple of _Trolls."_

His mumbling caused me too loose focus because the frustration it caused, but the word at the end, which he had made a point of muffling into his shoulder, peaked my interest, although I hadn't caught onto it.

"I'm sorry, what?"

There wasn't a difference; he was trying hard to delay my finding out what was going on, so I knew whatever it was, it had to be bad, otherwise they wouldn't sneak me away, or be scared of my reaction.

After the third attempt, I resorted to handling them as I would when they were children, since both were fixed on acting like one.

crossing my arms, my gaze narrowed, "if that's how you want to be, I'll give you to the count of three. One…two…"

I didn't make it the three, together, the two brothers submitted and explained what had happened, starting from missing ponies, a couple of trolls, and sending Bilbo off to free the animals they were planning to eat.

I might have stood frozen, understanding now why they might have wanted to stall revealing the story to me, but unfortunately, it gave the trolls enough time to discover Bilbo, and even if the hobbit did manage to get the ponies away, they would surely charge towards camp, with the trolls slugging after them, discovering more food in the process, and they did so prefer the flesh of other sources rather than animals, and if they got an eye on Bombur, they might just devour him then and there.

"where are they!" I cried following after Kili, with Fili behind me, as we stormed through the forest and I knew we were getting close when a couple of trees were either snapped or uprooted, and dents in the earth, made for footprints.

As a warm glow brightened, Kili stopped immediately and I slammed into him as he grabbed and brought me down low as he crouched to the floor and then, there they were.

For some reason, troll's have always reminded me of slugs, only with arms and legs sticking out their thick bodies, and their skin was harsh like stone. Where I got that comparison from who knew, but I found myself revolted by them, as their stench poisoned my senses.

Hunched back, they were bickering amongst themselves and so would pay us no heed, if their slow brains picked up on anything untoward.

Looking around them, I found it difficult seeing any space where Bilbo could be, and hoped the boys had better luck.

"Can you see Bilbo anywhere?" I asked.

They shook their heads at first moving to try and look around the troll's huge forms, but they took up a lot of the space, then Fili pointed where a rock was.

"There he is."

Casted in shadow, the hobbit was leant to one side with his eyes sealed shut, but he did not look peaceful and he flinched often enough to let us know he was still alive.

"Is he…" Kili wondered, peering at Bilbo confused.

"Unconscious and in a sack?" I asked, "Yep."

He either must have passed out at the sight of the trolls or, they saw the hobbit and knocked him out to keep him in one place and make his movements more restrictive by stuffing him in a sack. I had to say I was a little impressed, especially when I had thought the creatures stupid and incapable of planning ahead, but obviously I was wrong, or it could be that they were just used to doing this sort of thing.

"he's still alive though; so they must have a special meal in mind for him," Fili commented stroking one of his braids that dangled off his face and Kili felt the need to elaborate, though I don't think he meant to say it out loud.

"Hobbit stew."

I gave him a weird look, as he was transfixed with Bilbo, who was as limp as a boned fish, and then realising that it wasn't a joke he snapped back to attention.

"So what do we do?"

"Or more importantly," Fili pointed out, "how do we kill a troll?"

I spared a moment to think on it, because if we just charged in with our blades slicing at their flesh, our weapons would not make a significant injury to weaken them. We would only anger them from scratching at their tough skin, so I resorted to a memory I had of my father reading to me a story at my bedside.

"I heard, that if you shoot them in their eye, that usually does the trick."

And with that theory I was going off by how the hero in this tale I had recollected from the dusty corners of my mind, managed to save a whole village, which was under attack by beasts such as these, with a single shot from his bow, proving his worth, despite his small size as a dwarf.

It was an old tale, one that the boys had probably never heard of, and I could have lied when they asked me where I had gotten it from and tell them that it was a fact that everyone knew; but since that wasn't true and my plan was based on legend, I thought to prepare them for failure by being honest when I said:

"From a bedtime story my father used to tell me when I was five."

Fili delivered the reaction I was expecting, but Kili being Kili, he was the odd one and picked up on something else to be shocked by.

"you can remember things from when you were five!"

Years being with him, you learnt to just ignore instances like these and pretend he didn't say anything, and I returned to evaluating the environment to make for an effective plan.

"Their backs are to me from here."

Identifying this slight obstacle, it was clear I wouldn't get a clean shot of any of them, and the boys knew that as well, but were pushing for me to overcome it, since the burglar being in the troll's clutches was kinda all their fault, which was why they came to me; to get them out of this mess and avoid further trouble from their uncle if he found out.

Then it all became obvious.

"alright, here's what we're going to do. Kili you've got your bow, and Fili you're a fair knife thrower, correct?"

I didn't wait on an answer since I had seen him throw a knife, and continued with revealing what just clicked in my head before I forgot it.

"well, we'll just separate and surround them, with you both taking out these two from over there, and then, if I can climb that tree, I will be able to get a good shot of the one who will be facing away from you. When we are in place, I will give the signal, and as we shoot, the three will be dealt with at the same time."

I was out of breath when I had finished with the mouth full, but was pleased with what I had cooked up in a matter of seconds, and with nothing better to offer, the boys agreed, and by my demonstrating the signal, hooting twice like a barn owl, the plan was in motion.

Alone, I stealthily manoeuvred over to the tree I had in mind, which was in perfect distance for me to take the shot.

The creature I was after, it was gaunter, in way that trolls apparently can be now that I have seen him, and its voice was a high pitched whine, which the other two found annoying like myself, and it was also closer to Bilbo, so if any of them was going to dunk the hobbit in whatever it was they had brewing over their fire, it was likely to be him.

The troll poked his great finger at Bilbo's body, and still he did not stir.

"it's a shame he ain't bigger," the creature complained, whipping its tongue out to run along its mouth, as saliva dribbled down, "I quite like the sound of roasted… what did he say he was?"

The two other lumbering giants were as vacant as Bifur, and like with him, I really didn't want to know what was happening in their brains as they did the chore of thinking.

It took them ages, and while they were distracted, I managed to shuffle my body up the intended tree's trunk, getting the hard part over with, and carried on by reaching for a thick enough branch, where I would have no fear of it snapping, and where it had enough foliage to hide me, as I took a stable position.

"a flurbrubru hobbit!" one exclaimed slamming his large wooden spoon on his knee, victoriously, making the other grumble with discontent for not coming up with the ridiculous name first.

"a flurbrubru hobbit, do you think he'll give it a nice taste en?"

For curiosities sake, I took a gander at the contents of their pot, and was more disturbed than I had been of Bofur's attempt at making rotten potato stew. It was green, slimy; like a swamps dank waters, and they sipped at it casually for testing, and I couldn't imagine the vile taste, they delighted in.

"smell him you idiot! It will be like that farmer's wife again. I can still taste her when I close me eyes."

Ready, I should have given the signal then, but at their mention of the farmer and his family, it made me relate the topic back to the cottage, and I realised what had happened, and was disgusted by the fate these creatures had dealt them.

Again, the world could be cruel, and my sympathy for their passing lasted long, stalling the signal I should have given, and I wasn't about to make the hoot any time soon.

The boys just had to wait.

I needed to hear more, for the reason of knowing what it was like to be the prey of monsters.

"if ya remember," my Troll pitched in, "we didn't get a bite. You got the plump wife. He got the bony farmer, and I got the kid."

Stupid me, I should have taken the shot when I had the chance.

"Screaming thing, it barely filled a hole in my tooth. One chew and then, nothing."

the world could be cruel.

Who knew that better than I, for when it has dealt pain, nothing stops it from reminding you of the infliction.

I nearly dropped my bow.

My nimble fingers releasing it when in the wind, Thorne's cries were being carried to me.

One chew and then nothing.

One spout of fire, and then…nothing.

"oh shut up, would you rather have had mutton?" The troll grumbled in reply, and then creaked its knees when forcing itself up from the boulder it was crushing beneath the weight of its body.

"Uh," it moaned, "I've got an itch."

Its arms could not angle themselves to scratch the spot that pestered him. All the pain this monster has done, and all that justice could do, was return it with an itch.

An arrow in the eye was too merciful, but I had to help Bilbo.

Pushing my emotions aside, I blinked away the tears which had pooled into my eyes, and turned my sight into a watery haze, but instead of settling down again, the troll lumbered over to my tree, and persistently smacked the broad truck against its back, uplifting it from the root, while I was barely able to hold on.

Knocked from my branch, it was good thing I was short, since my feet were dangling with only inches to spare between them and the trolls head, as I desperately tried to swing myself back in place, but struggling, I dropped my bow.

Consumed with relieving himself, the troll did not notice, but what if the other two looked his way and saw me in this state. They would have me in the same state as Bilbo in an instant, not to mention being next in line for the same treatment I had handled the rabbits with.

Who can say how long I was hanging like that, because the next thing I knew, a cry came from below.

"Oi!"

The trolls stopped what they were doing, and without the tree being shoved, I quickly pulled myself back where I had been, gasping to see that Kili had abandoned his post, and was holding out his sword.

"have you ever heard the one where there are three trolls up against thirteen dwarves?"

Gullible, they actually answered no, and Kili gave that cheeky smirk, probably knowing I was watching and on the brink of a heart attack.

"really? well let's find out shall we."

At that, Thorin jumped out from the forest yelling out a battle cry as he took the first swing, to make one troll yowl, and soon, their camp site was swarmed by dwarves, doing what they could to try and bring these beasts down.

But it was like as I said before, their swords could not cut through their thick flesh, and though I could have joined in the effort, that very reason kept me in my tree, so that when the trolls held up a Hobbit, who was now wide awake, to ransom their surrender, there was a chance I might be able to do something, when all thirteen dwarves were either bagged, or tied to a large spit.

…..

Still in my tree, I was trying to conjure up a shiny new plan, and failing at it miserably, as I repeatedly slapped the sides of my head, hoping one hit might inspire something, even of minimal promise. Only, it did not, when all I could concentrate on were the dwarves' protests, and the trolls bickering, and I could not decide which group was worse.

with my bow lost and gathered in a pile, after being mistaken for someone else's when they had to put down their weapons, I could not rely on my last resort either, and fight; for all the use that would have done.

I was demented with the inability to assist those I cared about, and was prepared to give myself up to the trolls, better to be with them as a captive, rather than alone and free.

I was laughing bitterly at the thought of such an end, when from nowhere, I heard my name.

 ** _"_** ** _Gaia."_**

It was whispered, but determined to capture my attention, and I searched for the culprit, and found him quick enough with his pointed hat and long grey beard.

I nearly shouted his name aloud when I saw his old weathered face, and still retaining some caution, I climbed down the tree quicker than I had ascended it, joining the wizard where he was stooped down, and watching the same strange scene, which I had been.

"Gandalf," I exclaimed, "you came back!"

"well of course my dear" he rasped, and his hands parted the same bush myself and boys had been hiding behind earlier, "I'm not in the habit to leave people behind to be eaten you know."

I might from the relief have laughed a little manically, but his words struck a chord to stop me from giving in to my relief, and I tried piecing together the meaning behind his words and then sucked in a sharp breath.

"Wait, you knew this would happen!"

He hushed me when I spoke too loudly, but with the volume the prisoners and captives were speaking at, Gandalf need not fear for me giving us away to the trolls.

"I had my suspicions," he admitted as if his actions hadn't been dangerous, and could have ended potentially worse than it already has, with Bilbo and the rest being devoured on site, since I did hear the phrase, squashed into jelly be thrown about by one creature.

"So glad you warned us then. Or were you teaching Thorin a lesson?"

Lecturing him, my theory must have been bang on when he didn't dignify it with an answer, and I was finally coming to terms with what it was going to be like, being the only female with any sense in the company.

"so how are we going to get them out of this?"

I was interested to hear what scheme he had up his large sleeves, when I had been at an utter lost and was about ready to take the easy way out and give up, before I saw him.

Then there was a glint in his eye, the way people who know something the other doesn't usually have, and it must have been sweet knowledge, which those who are not as wise as wizards fail to consider, but they make seem so plainly obvious.

When he could contain it no longer, Gandalf took a gander at the skies above and smiled, "You forget my dear; dawn is on our side."

I glimpsed up with him, noticing that it was not as dark as it had been when the boys and myself first took on the task of evading the trolls, and some colour was subtly beginning to give the wide open canvas some contrast.

Dawn was well on its way, and I raised one of my thick brows recalling myth of trolls turning to the stone they appeared to be in any case, only becoming more literal in the sense.

"That's true!"

It wasn't a question, since the wizard had given me no indication to doubt his word as I didn't think that he would rely on something, in such a fatal position as we were in, if he didn't have solid and viable confidence in the fact himself.

"Indeed, it is."

My inner child relished at the confirmation having wondered all these years, and I recalled my earlier plan, which I myself had based on nothing more than a story, "and what about an arrow to the eye, does that have any merit?"

The wizard looked surprised and turned to keep watch over the company, saying, "the tale of Bayon and the troll."

I smiled having forgotten the finer details like the dwarf's name, and as soon as Gandalf had spoken it, a memory came to mind of my imagining how the character must have appeared and since it was my father who used to tell me the tale, Bayon, was all Mighton, from the large broken nose, to, if you would believe it, just the two fingers on his left hand, when his trade as a blacksmith, and the consumption of ale, really does not mix, and instead of hitting the sword he was crafting, he completely missed, and ground his three middle fingers into mincemeat.

These little horrors to his appearance, I had not cared about. Mighton was my father, and because of the bond we shared as father and daughter, he was always my hero.

"Also true," Gandalf confirmed, bringing me back from my ponderings.

Delighted that my plan could have worked, I applauded myself for creativity, but whereas the arrow to the eye was quick, I didn't know so much about the dawn, when those chosen to roast where being turned for an even cook, and were probably helping their insides simmer, from the heat of their anger.

"can we really wait for the dawn Gandalf?"

The worry was beginning to give me a headache, and I wasn't much good with having patience and wanted for everything to be over with, so that everyone was safe and sound. I was even anticipating Thorin getting his on back on me after I had the gall to reprimand him for his antics with Gandalf, and then went and did something as reckless as taking on three great trolls with our two young nephews, as well as having no intention of not even murmuring it to him until about fifty years later.

"Luckily for us Gaia," Gandalf explained amused, "we have a hobbit on our side."

Trying to figure out what he meant, I looked again through the hole in the bushes, where Bilbo, although still tied up in his sac, was hobbling around on his feet, with the troll's full attention.

He was stalling them, talking about the best way to serve up dwarf, as appetisingly as a boar with an apple stuffed in its mouth, and like idiots, the trolls were heeding his advice, as the hobbit was leading them in a right old merry dance, but I noticed something that might put his efforts in vain.

"The only problem now, is that they picked this spot for a reason."

"what do you mean?" the wizard asked, having not seen it himself.

"that boulder," and I pointed to the impressive obtrusion, which made for a change in just trees, "Its blocking out the sun."

Evaluating it for himself, Gandalf saw that I was right, and lifted up his staff as he straightened his back.

"Leave that to me," he insisted with a wink and disappeared.

In the meantime, somehow the trolls were catching on to Bilbo and were becoming aggressive again, and I was jumping on my toes, finding the wait unbearable when finally, a figure appeared atop the boulder.

"The dawn will take you all!" a voice bellowed out loud, and with a slam of his staff and a crack of stone, the boulder halved, letting out with all its glory, the sunlight.


	7. Chapter 7

Writhing in the sun, the trolls could make no effort to waddle free from its glare and into the shadows, as they began to stiffen, and locked into solid statues before my very eyes, in the last position they managed to find themselves in.

Without their groans and heavy breathing, I was so overcome by the silence of all of those who remained to be flesh, and therefore stunned, that I actually fell to my knees, despite the new weightlessness I now had, due to the worry I had been harbouring, dispersing into pure and joyous relief.

I don't know why, but I actually began laughing, while the others now free from being made a meal, cheered at the Wizards victory, who still stood on the halved rocks, smiling bemusedly at the company's current state, and enjoying it, I had no doubt, as the complaining began.

However, their complaints and bickering for me, was just another assurance that everyone was well, and I swiftly got back up onto my feet and launched for the huddled group, still in their sacks, making for the one dwarf, in particular, that was my husband.

"Thorin!"

My arms were quick to wrap around his neck and I squeezed him tight to my body, lifted up and down with his deep sigh a couple of times, when it sunk into his mind, that I too was alright; then with that settled, I gladly took my scolding off of him with a smile, and loosened the string which kept him bound.

"By Durin! Is this what I can expect from you, from here on out!"

Not much room for any dignity, Thorin scampered out of his fabric prison, and healed the embarrassment by standing tall once again, glaring at me.

"secrets and mischief… do I need to monitor you every second of the day?"

His large hand cradling around to the back of my head, I lay mine on top and shrugged with some debate over whether or not, his proposal would be for the best, if we were to avoid any more situations like this. Only, I was but one dwarf in a large group, and mischief is something we are all in the habit of partaking in, willingly or not, so it goes without saying that Thorin's eye, would need to watch out for us all, and still I believe he wouldn't have much luck in avoiding another run in with something unsavoury.

This he must have realised himself, and he pressed his lips against my forehead, knowing he can do nothing but trust that we will conquer every obstacle, like we had this one.

By the skin of our teeth that is.

"…my curly headed lass."

Another peck, we two then liberated everyone else, who were like nagging caterpillars wanting to be rid of their cocoons.

"quieten down now lads," I encouraged, looking over my shoulder at those on the spit, "it could have been worse; don't you think?"

I slapped the back of Gloin's arm, "come on, either help put the fire out, or climb up and cut them loose. We shouldn't linger here."

Crouched down, Kili came around to my side, and offered his hand to help me up, confused.

"aunt Gaia," he asked, "what happened?"

Referring to our original plan concerning the trolls, I had promised to give a signal and make swift work of the trolls. But lost in my thoughts, I had let them down, which had caused my nephews to search for aid elsewhere in their uncle, and should Gandalf not have turned back…

"I'm sorry lad, I have no excuse other than I allowed my thoughts to distract me from the matter at hand. And it is something; I shall strive not to let happen again."

He didn't delve any further and took my word for it, as he clambered up the make shift ladder of dwarves to cut the rope of the spit.

I watched him go with a pang of guilt, because I knew that there was some emptiness that rang in the claim, for I barely believed that I could stop thinking about Thorne whenever something stirred my memory, and I knew then for certain, that when I was reminded, I could not control the state I found myself in, as a result.

"-but I will strive to be stronger," I whispered.

Dori, Nori, Ori.

I checked them off as they hit the ground with a smack.

Dwalin, Bifur, Bofur; they too were all unscathed, if a little red faced, and they were sorting through the pile of weapons when Thorin approached me after his talk with the wizard, which thankfully did not end in Gandalf leaving this time, though he was ushering people to quicken their haste.

"what's going on?" I asked, seeing as something was astir between he and the wizard.

"were on an adventure my love, and a need for provisions is paramount, and what are trolls known for?"

I deliberated, gazing at the stone figures casting the sort of shadows that could have spared them and then it clicked.

"a troll horde."

…

With the three trolls having greater feet than we dwarves, their tracks were easy things too follow, as well as the odd uprooted tree, and the dark place which they had once claimed, was easily smelt before actually seen.

One whiff of that foul stench and my stomach instantly turned.

I released Thorin's hand and clasped my nostrils shut, "where you may go, I shall follow, but I am afraid troll caves have become the breaker of that vow, my love."

He smirked, with a twinkle in his eye.

"very well. Try not to get into any more mischief while I'm gone."

Joined by few others, I perched myself down on a rock appreciating the small peace, but when Bilbo sat before me, I cannot say I was bothered in the least and smiled at him, warmly.

"miss Gaia."

I raised a brow at him, "no; just Gaia. We need no formalities here. For if there is need to call out to one another, titles and the like will take too long surely."

He chuckled at my jest and clasped his hands together in front of him, turning to peek over his shoulder, where Fili and Kili were brooding because of their uncle having given pony duty over to Dori. Can't say I blamed him, when we couldn't afford to be side tracked again like we had done with the trolls, and after this cave I suppose we shall continue on as we have been; walking until exhausted.

I sighed, wondering if we might tread on roads I had once shared with my father, for I found that I would like the reminder of anything that might have transpired between us then, whether it be an argument over his lack of direction, or conversations concerning the mother I never met, and made the hardened Mighton soften.

Lost in thought, Bilbo had to clear his throat to capture my attention, and I begged his pardon, having not meant to blank him as I must have done.

"uh," he mumbled, with a smirk, "I've been wanting to thank you Gaia. Fili and Kili, they told me what you were willing to do for my sake. And I am very grateful."

He scratched the back of his sandy head, his mouth still twitching into that smirk. We hadn't spoken one to one since we were back in the Shire, and even then he needed some movement, something to fidget over to distract himself from his nerves so he could say what he wanted to.

I wasn't used to someone who was shy. There was no dwarf that was, for even the quieter of our company, being Ori of course, was not so because he was scared to say anything, but because his brother's did most of the talking for him, which was a common thing among siblings, since Fili had done the same with Kili.

The only difference being that they eventually grew out of it, when those other three brothers, remained to act towards one another, as they did when they were younger.

However, what struck me more than his nervousness, was that I read between the lines of his words, where there seemed to be another meaning, and while I had caught it, I couldn't help but ask, "you say that as if I weren't at liberty to do so."

Bilbo winced and looked down at his rough bare feet, "well… I'm not like the others. You know them."

My mouth opened with the realisation that I had been right to chase him for the confirmation in my suspicion. And that was, that the Hobbit did not think himself worth the effort of saving, so he must think I hold some animosity for doing what I did then, when that was not the case at all.

Reaching out, I took Bilbo's hand in mine, which surprised him and held it tightly.

"yes, and I'm getting to know you too. Bilbo, you are a part of this company and I will risk my life for you time and time again if need be, the same as I would do for anyone else. Don't think you're not worth it, because as soon as you start believing that; that is when it becomes the truth."

I was determined to be quite serious with him to make him see that this wasn't just some mangy offering of false politeness.

If any of us were going to survive, we needed to know that we had one another to rely on should we falter, or if things take a dangerous turn. Out here in the wild, it was highly likely that an encounter like we had, had with the trolls will happen again, and if that be so, we all needed trust those who stand on either side of us.

Besides, if I remember correctly after Bilbo had been captured the second time amidst the fighting, Kili too had called out to him in worry, thus I was not the hobbits sole ally, which was proven all the more when the wizard emerged from the cave carrying something.

He looked around briefly, until he spotted the hobbit and I sat near to each other and came our way as we watched.

"Bilbo," he beamed rather pleased with himself at the object he gave to the Halfling, "This is about your size."

I chuckled at the truth of it, for the thing was a sword, smaller than any I had seen, or that which my father would have dared to fashion, making me wonder who the original owner might have been.

Skinny in its sheath, and hardly robust as dwarf blades are, for Bilbo, I thought it suited him well.

"now you can do your own fighting," I nodded approvingly, and left them both to it when I intended to go see how my pony was doing, only I didn't make it very far.

In warning, Thorin shouted having exited the cave, "Something's coming!"

I could have sighed from the frustration of being right in my claim that more trouble was yet to come, but so soon after the last lot of bother?

Armed with my bow and two axes hanging on each hip, there wasn't much point in wallowing about it, and as the maddened rustling in the trees, being what I guessed to be the danger, grew louder, we stuck together and ventured into the forest, not knowing of we were going to meet it head on, or wait for it to find us.

The latter was what came to pass, and while we were expressing vicious sneers and gripping our weaponry in preparation for another fight, the foe…was not what we had expected.

Not in the least.

Having been riding at full speed in a sleigh drawn by rabbits, it was a miracle he had stopped in time before he could have crashed into us all huddled together, and though he was the absurd intruder, it was he who initiated the maddened shouting.

"Thieves! Fire! Murder!"

He had certainly startled us all, whoever this person was, and if you could imagine someone having been buried in the depths of the earth, with all manners of little insects and worms keeping them company, only to claw their way back out the soil again after some weeks, this man was that very image come to life.

In a long brown robe, to match his long beard and hair, as well as the hat atop his head…he shouldn't do, but he did in fact put me in mind of Gandalf a bit.

Then the Wizard gave the strange figure a name.

"Radagast! Radagast the Brown."

Gandalf was chuckling like he had been stupidly too slow in conjuring it, when the man had first appeared, except that amusement did not last, and he narrowed his gaze slightly.

"What on earth are you doing here?"

I'm sure that was the question everyone else wished to ask too, and as I squinted hard it was Fili who was standing behind him at my angle, squinting at the side of the strangers face, and noticing me, began to demonstrate his suspicion of what was on Radagast by signalling to his own face.

I wasn't in the mood for any more confusion, and looked to see what Fili was talking about and truly, I wished I hadn't bothered, because I almost gagged when I saw the trail of bird poo that seemed to stream down from Radagast's hat.

My hand flew to my mouth, and I had to swallow back the vile, thinking ' _cheers for that one Fili,'_ as the youngster was silently laughing at my reaction.

Counting to soothe the revulsion away, the wizards went off a few paces ahead to speak more privately, without no more of an explanation, which caused a stir among the dwarves, but none so more than in Thorin and Dwalin.

"what do you suppose their talking about."

Arms folded, it couldn't be a comfortable position for Dwalin, with his brass knuckles rubbing against his muscle, but Thorin's friend was too busy holding the wizards in contempt to care if he was being irritated.

The two dwarf men glaring menacingly, I innocently started tipping myself up and down on my toes, "ways to lure us in an elven trap, maybe?"

Dwalin turned his glare to me, trying to disguise the fact that my teasing had affected him at all, while my husband claimed my shoulder, doing the same thing as Dwalin, in trying to keep a stern face.

"not funny."

I shrugged, seeing that his eyes were telling a different story, "oh I think it is."

The wizards were far that we couldn't properly read their lips, and wearing such heavy clothing, plus those bushy beards, it was hard to make sense of their body language, to tell what they might be feeling. This annoyed Dwalin who had a knack for lip reading.

"he's a queer one, that Radagast."

I couldn't deny the dwarf warrior that, but as I turned my head around Thorin where Bofur was helping Bombur relieve an unsavoury itch with a stick, I couldn't prevent the snort that came out of me.

"have you happened to look around at the group were travelling with?" I asked, "There's nothing wrong with a touch of madness."

As my father had said once, _'_ _no one is under any obligation, to make sense to anyone else. They can only be who they are. And if they don't like it, then the fault is purely their own.'_

He had told me that after I admitted to him the passion I had to learn how to fight.

In fact, it was when I had boldly asked the training master if I could join in on his lesson that I was laughed at by the two princes, with one being Frerin, and the other my husband, when we were children.

Girls aren't meant to fight they had claimed, and that I was stupid to think otherwise, making me feel as though there was something wrong with me.

However, my father had soon rectified that and had ended up training me himself, proving Thorin and his brother wrong indeed, and if you look hard enough, though his beard covered most of it up now, you would see the angry red line, that served as a reminder of that wrong.

As I caught a glimpse of the scar I spoke of, so did I see Thorin smile at me.

"can you form a negative thought in that head of yours…" he pondered.

"if I can't, you have to trust that it only works to your benefit, Grumpy!"

Other than when we were alone, lately Thorin rarely bantered back and forth with me since he was under the stress of what it was we were setting out to do, and I was enjoying seeing his mood lighten, until something caught his ear and swiftly swept aside any room for playing games.

"do you hear that," he hissed under his breath, and in all honesty I could not, while he and Dwalin spaced off away from me to listen out for this mysterious noise again.

I was concerned over what it could be, but the brush was so thick, it made it impossible to tell if there was anything watching us, and then the sound returned; only much louder, for us all to hear.

Alerted by the howl, Bilbo asked, "was that a wolf? Are there wolves out there?"

Granted, if you haven't been acquainted much with the howl of a wolf, you would not know that compared with this beast, it was much too dog like, since the source for this howl resembled an ogre's moan, rather too well.

Surrounded by crag's, I had my back turned to where everyone saw the mangy thing appear and with a growl, it leapt off from the stone and darted straight towards me, having been distracted in another direction.

Luckily, as it knocked me to the ground with its weight, Thorin landed his blade on the beast's neck, to prevent any further damage it intended to do to me, after its powerful claws managed to pierce through my chainmail.

The sharp pain made me cry out loud, and I locked my jaw to keep from shouting abuse at the creature Thorin dragged off of me, but while he was busy, two more of its kind attacked from the other side, until they were killed by Kili and Dwalin.

"Gaia!"

From panic, Thorin was breathing, but none of the air was going into his lungs. He was too frantic to get me back up onto my feet again, to make sure that I was alright, and for the most part I was, although I'll admit, I didn't want to raise my arm any time soon, and seeing the blood seeping through my armour, it was all Thorin could concentrate on.

I could tell that he was blaming himself for this, and I grabbed his face to make him look up at me instead of where my wound was.

"listen to me; I'm alright Thorin!"

His eyes flickered to the wound, and with my persistence, he actually drew in a proper breath.

"Warg-Scouts!" he snarled, "Which means an Orc pack is not far behind."

"Orc pack?"

Thanks to the stories Bilbo had been made privy to since being with us, his hand flew to the hilt of his sword in fear as Gandalf pushed past him, challenging Thorin, which was not the best thing to do, though I understood his wariness.

"Who did you tell about your quest, beyond your kin?"

"No one," Thorin murmured, while bringing me closer to him, as he turned with more vigour towards Gandalf who asked more briskly again, if he had told someone beyond the dwarves.

"No one, I swear. Now what in Durin's name is going on?"

I don't think Gandalf believed Thorin, and surveyed our surroundings, expecting another ambush.

"You are being hunted."

 _By orcs? But who would set them up to it…_

my thoughts must have been the same as Dwalin's, who had his axe at the ready, advising that we leave these close quarters, which wouldn't pan out in our favour, depending on the number of the enemy, who would have the higher ground if they found us.

Unfortunately, luck was not on our side as Ori called, "We can't! We have no ponies; they bolted."

Even with ponies, they would not have been a match against the speed of a Warg, and on foot, I couldn't say that I was liking where this was going, and Thorin clutched me tighter protectively.

We were all in the throes of hopelessness, when Radagast thought to help, in the one way that would be of use.

"I'll draw them off!"

None really had any confidence in him, not even Gandalf.

"These are Gundobad Wargs; they will outrun you."

taken aback, the strange delusion that made you wonder what he might be thinking, when his mind must certainly not match the subject he was talking about left, and he clutched his hand into a determined fist.

"These are Rhosgobel Rabbits; I'd like to see them try."

…..

Waiting at the border of the forest, Gandalf was to be our guide in all of this, as the howling worsened, as well as the pounding of the Wargs paws being heard to indicate how very close they were to us.

We were to wait for the signal, which wasn't anything subtle, for as soon as Radagast burst through the bushes, yelling at the orcs to follow him, he drew all attention to him, which allowed us to sneak off to a boulder, as quickly as we could.

There, Gandalf watched as Radagast rode down the dip of a hill, with the orcs in tow, and we began to run across grass and rocky seas.

"come on!" the wizard ushered.

My wound wasn't stopping me from running of course, but Thorin was none too convinced, and he kept looking back to make sure I was keeping up with everyone.

"never mind me!" I scolded, "just look where you're going."

In the distance, Radagast was still being chased in our place, when one of the orcs crashed while trying to catch him, and we took advantage of the moment and ran across the plain, stopping when some of the Wargs were not too far away, on another path, and we hid behind some more rocks.

Having passed by, this was all a matter of chance now, and it was much the same, where we ran to the nearest cover.

Not burdened with any supplies, we were moving at a good pace, and Thorin stayed put to count the heads that ran off, to keep track of us all, and as the last, I caught him asking Gandalf where the wizard was leading us, to which the wizard didn't answer him back.

Cutting it close, Radagast's sleigh made us stop abruptly in our path, and we must have made a mistake somewhere, for now a Warg had caught our scent, from being so near to us.

The beasts sharp sniffing will betray our position, so there was nothing else for it but to bring the Warg and its rider down, only I was unable to use my bow, with my arm the way it was, but we did have another archer.

Back against the rock, Thorin signalled to Kili's weapon, who then exchanged a glance with me, his mentor.

No doubt he was thinking back on trying to shoot down those rabbits and failing, except the target here was much larger and not so far away.

In fact, the creatures were right on top of us, and I nodded in encouragement to my nephew.

My belief was just what he needed, and he threw himself in the line of fire, releasing an arrow before the Warg or the orc could make any move towards him, once and then twice, making both fall near the rest of the company.

The only problem was, that in their pain, both Warg and orc were screeching far too loudly and we knew we had been found out, no matter if this one rider among the pack, was dead.

The vengeful howling erupted, and Radagast was no longer being pursued.

"move; run!"

The wizard did not need to tell us, and if we thought our speed had been impressive before, it had nothing on us now with the Wargs jaws snapping at our feet to keep us motivated.

Our weapons clattering on our backs and against our thighs, I could imagine they were going to be put in use soon, as Gloin pointed out that the enemy was beginning to surround us.

Gandalf urged us onwards for a little while longer, but more and more seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"Kili, shoot them!" Thorin ordered, but the lad couldn't take them all down.

With my arm protesting, I thought to help him and shot down an orc myself, but I regretted it having disturbed the wound, which must have been deeper than I had thought, for the blood flow suddenly poured out from where it could.

"Ah!"

I could not stop the cry as my vision blurred and then the wizard who had disappeared suddenly popped out from some more rocks.

"this way, you fools!" he advised, and having no other choice, everyone abided, with the first lot of dwarves seemingly sliding down to somewhere.

Moving for the same place, I was unsteady on my feet when a Warg was pounding straight for my husband.

"Thorin! On your right!"

With one easy slice, he cut the beast down into a heap as it got close, and I met up with Fili who hooked his arm beneath mine to support me, which I was grateful for.

Holding me, he and I then joined everyone else in a dark crevice, followed by Kili and then last came Thorin, just in the nick of time, for in the mouth of the crevice where he had just been standing, we could see the orcs shadows looming above us, when suddenly a horn was sounded, taking them off guard, as well as us.

Arrows flying and flesh being cut, it was obvious that there was conflict happening, and with a screech, a body rolled down to land in the gravel.

Unmoving, Thorin leaned over and plucked out the arrow that had killed the thing, looking at the fine silver head engraved with filigree.

A race was easily distinguished here in middle earth, when all one has to do was look at their weapons.

None was the same, and on this occasion, this particular style of arrow belonged to no other race, but-

"elves."

As if the thing had scorched him, Thorin dropped it with disgust, and beheld Gandalf with utter disdain.

Braving to venture off to find a way out from here, Dwalin hollered, "There's a pathway at the end of the cave. Do we follow it or no?"

What lay at the end of it, I couldn't picture it being worse than what we had encountered these past couple of hours, from trolls, to Wargs and orcs. Although, I would hate it if I had spoken to soon, and we now walked down the gullet of another monstrous being, and straight into its belly.

But what choice did we have, and I was too proud to burden my nephew and pushed him on as I used the wall to guide me, feeling…shaky.

narrow, the cave was actually a crack between two tall cliffs, and we dwarves had difficulty getting through, with Bombur having to be forcefully booted or pushed to squeeze him out of the opening that thankfully appeared at the end, bright with sunlight.

One by one, as we exited the darkness, water ran down the precipice we stood on the edge of, and into a valley, where set beautifully before us was Rivendell, or 'The Valley of Imraldis' as Gandalf put it.

To my husband, though, it didn't matter what the place was called, when it still homed a people he was none too fond of.

"This was your plan all along, to seek refuge with our enemy."

I knew that comment was coming, the same as the wizard who had armed himself with a reply at the ready, as I slumped my body more so on the wall.

And my vision…it was getting worse now the adrenaline was lessening.

"You have no enemies here, Thorin Oakenshield. The only ill-will to be found in this valley is that which you bring yourself."

I tried to open my mouth and speak, but I just didn't seem to have the strength.

"thor…" I slurred, as my husband argued with Gandalf.

"Do you think the Elves will give our quest their blessing? They will try to stop us."

I licked my lips, to bring them back some moisture, and tried again.

"thori…"

Whether my eyes were closed or I had lost my sight, I could not tell the difference, all I knew was that I could not see anything but a black curtain.

"Of course they will. But we have questions that need to be answered. If we are to be successful, this will need to be handled with tact and respect and no small degree of charm. Which is why you will leave the talking to me."

I was cold; was that why I was shaking?

So, so cold, that I was somewhat numb to the touch of a hand that was on my arm.

"-Gaia, are you alright?"

No, I was not alright at all, which was what I had wanted to say to who I had guessed was Bilbo, but my body saved me the bother of trying to speak, and collapsed like a sack of potatoes, and any consciousness I had left; was gone.

...

 **if you would like to leave a comment I would love to hear what you thought xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

Something was not right.

Beneath me, there wasn't a hard bed of rock and soil, which I have been used to now since setting off on our journey.

In fact, it was like I was drifting on air and because of the severe comfort, I sighed deeply enjoying not being prodded and bruised, while admittedly something nibbled on my mind, like an annoying midge, another factor of the wild that was, in a more literal sense, missing.

I tried to ignore it; the fact that the absence of these things bothered me. Only without much surprise, that wave of worry I was famous for grew in momentum, only in this case, it was for myself…

Until the last thing I could remember hit me; and that was the oncoming darkness of unconsciousness. Thus, a sudden fright banished the enjoyment I found in feeling as though I was floating, for there was only one reason I could think of that would make me feel that way, in the aftermath of being injured.

Gasping, my body launched itself forward and my eyes were forced open when I could barely contain them in their sockets.

for a moment, my chest heaved up and down as I tried to come to grips with what was going on, and it came together one piece at time, like the smell of sweet perfume blowing in through a nearby window.

I swallowed with great difficulty and moved onto the sound of trees rustling; as well as rushing water, falling off the edge and crashing into the depths of some far off pool.

these were very real sounds, which were bound to middle earth, and I could feel the silk sheets beneath my fingertips, that sat atop a feather mattress providing me with a much needed source for the weightlessness I had experienced, in the stead of what I had maybe gone overboard in presuming, to be actually death.

Though my alarmed breath had calmed down, to a degree, I needed to ease the hammering of my heart and went to touch the spot it battered against, only to realise it was blocked by an arm which was bandaged up and across my chest.

I stared at the handiwork and shook my head at having not noticed it before, for now it was all I could concentrate on, as well as how much of a nuisance it was knowing I could not move it, when I tested its strength with a few outward tugs.

"By Durin Gaia!" I murmured to myself, "You've gotten yourself in quite a state."

Another sharp tug and I gave up any hope of release with an annoyed groan, falling back onto the plump pillows and wriggling my bare toes for good measure, since the fingers on my left hand were indisposed, and I wasn't used to not wearing my heavy boots.

This led me onto another revelation of my sudden change in wardrobe, having seemed to have swapped leather and chainmail, for a light chiffon gown, which faded from a dark purple to a lilac at the end of the skirt.

Elegant and flowy, it was beautiful work, but I didn't linger in appreciating the garment when I realised that someone had to change me into it and in a company of men…

They better all have been banished away, with only Thorin left to do the deed, for any wandering dopey grins or blushing I may see when I encounter them again, will be surely scolded for.

Speaking of the dwarves, the silence, bar that of nature's doing, was also out of place and it made me quite anxious, up to the point where a guttural snore shattered the last of any mystery and I came to better grips with my senses, having been enduring that snore for many, many years.

"…Thorin."

There wasn't an answer, but the next snore led me to a wooden chair pressed up near me at the side of the bed and residing in it was too short a figure for who the piece of furniture was originally designed to seat, resting his hairy cheek into his rough fist and lifting the skin upward, while a blanket was draped on his legs.

He was sleeping, but he did not look peaceful, or in the midst of having himself a little rest.

Eyes red rimmed, they were sore and slightly moist and I could tell, that this was not Thorin sleeping, but it was him succumbing to the ongoing battle he has with his own mind and all he needed, from past experiences, was a gentle touch to bring him back to reality.

Using my good arm, I laid a fingertip over his temple guiding it down along his fine bone structure, which stirred Thorin slightly and he straightened his neck as his fist fell from place. Then, as I traced down further to his lips and outlined their curvatures, he finally stared groggily at me, until it registered with him that I was no longer lying limp.

Seeing this, his reaction startled me as he leapt from the chair and cupped my head on either side, forcefully, but not in a way that caused me pain and came within an inch of my face.

"Gaia!" he cried, with what might have been a blinding smile, if it wasn't for the exhaustion marring his complexion, that gave him a hint of sadness that pinched me harshly as my brows furrowed with the following concern that came after noticing this.

Tears slowly slipped from his ducts, "Gaia, you're alright!"

Considering the state of me when I first awoke, this declaration was not what I needed to hear and he must have seen the worry written on my face, so he shook his head still wearing that queer smile.

"What I mean is; you're awake…finally."

Smothering my forehead in caresses, there wasn't much I could see and that included him as he blurred in and out of my vision, muffling me with his beard when I tried to complain.

"Thorin!"

Catching my breath, I pressed my free hand against his shoulder to keep my worrying husband at bay, but he didn't make it seem his actions were an exaggeration of his relief.

Staring down at my chest again, I asked "what happened?"

"You mean you don't remember?"

Briefly, I caught glimpses of a grassy plain and a roaring Warg; a sense of danger we were trying to escape and clearly it didn't go unscathed, yet I knew that no one else received any injury except me, the fortunate dwarf that I was. I explained as much to my husband and he hopped up onto the bed, leaning over my legs, so we were level.

"Soon after we were being pursued Gandalf led us to a hidden pathway, that would have gone unnoticed by any traveller, never mind us who were in so desperate a need for it."

"I seemed to remember you were against this passage?" I prodded mischievously, earning a groan.

"Well," as he so often did, Thorin's thoughts deepened and he was lost in the seriousness of them, no longer in the same room as me but reliving whatever he was thinking about.

"If it weren't for it Gaia; I dare not consider the possibility of what could have happened."

I sharpened my gaze at him and it radiated with disbelief, because Thorin always considered the worst scenario. It was his duty to as a leader to at least recognise even the lowliest of prospects and if they concerned me, I knew that only worsened, as it did whenever I feared for his safety.

"I lost a lot of blood, didn't I?"

My skin was usually milk white, however this complexion bordered on lifelessness and I tingled as the circulation worked to improve itself.

He watched my assessment grimly and nodded, "By the time we reached Rivendell's gates, you were a ghost. The nock on your head when you fell, I think, saved you some suffering, otherwise the wound…"

I was glad I wasn't conscious when they did carry me. The worst thing I could have done for Thorin was make any muttering of being in pain, despite it being no fault of his. Inwardly, I was glad that this happened to me and not another, but if I had said as much, I doubt I would have heard the end of the risk my life was in, as if no one should suffer on another account except him, which was foolish as everyone had someone who they would take their danger upon themselves. As past rulers we took this burden on from everyone and even without a kingdom, or not as much experience as Thorin, this didn't mean I did not share the similarity with him on this quest.

"Can't have been that bad; I'm still breathing aren't I?"

My attempt to lighten the mood was too soon and I twitched at the direct look I got from my husband, amazed I would say such a thing, because of course he took my words literal and in all honesty, they were, although I wouldn't admit it just yet.

"Yes, you're breathing has returned from a weak rasp. You can sit up and are conscious…ten days later."

" _Ten days_?" I repeated, leaving my mouth hung open, as I accounted for all that could have been accomplished in those ten days I lay waste in this bed and throughout those ten days, judging by the state of Thorin, he had not left my side.

"Thorin, I am sorry."

"You're sorry?" he jerked in surprise, clasping my empty hand once more, trying to smile in that strange way but the quivering was too much, due to his frustration at the sole culprit he could pinpoint; himself.

"It's I who should apologise. I who shouldn't have left you alone when I knew that danger lurked around us. I should have stayed beside you even through your stubbornness to keep running and fire your bow to protect the company."

"…and what then?" I enquired softly, "Would it have made the bleeding ease. Would there not be more causalities if we remained still, or would you rather that our leader was in my place."

His hold tightened considerably enough that I could feel it through the numbing sensation needling its way through my flesh.

I spoke his name and it landed on deaf ears, urging Thorin to look at me, after he'd lowered his face against the part of my body he claimed and clutched to desperately. Again I called to my husband, worrying as to where his mind might have taken him during the lingering silence where it was just my troubled voice filling the room.

"…I promised to protect you; to keep you safe with my body if not my sword and I have failed you; twice over."

When you care deeply enough for someone, their pain was unbearable to witness and to see a warrior like Thorin reach that point where he could hardly look me in the eye, tested all the vigour I had gathered, in order to heal my broken husband and provide him with an offering of strength when he couldn't find it in himself.

It was what wives do because we are so often slaves to our emotions, unashamedly, while a man has this idea such displays are beneath their gender, forgetting that admiration could be earnt in a shed tear just the same as a mighty roar in battle.

In Thorin's sake, he had before been in this broken state in familiar circumstances, when in truth we we're not strangers to the scene we currently played and to see me return to a bed while he could only watch, helpless to do anything but make sure my chest rose in perfect rhythm, the reminder of what this quest may cost him, became too much; especially when he had never gotten over the last ordeal.

His admittance cut me like a knife, to think he wrongfully harboured such guilt and anguish, since Smaug's invasion, to the battle of Moria. Thorin was never given the chance to overcome his grief, continuously making me his priority, in seeing to it I could welcome another day.

"Don't cry my love," I soothed in his ear, "I will not allow you to wallow in guilt, because the shame is mine."

Confusion perked his intensive stare to meet mine and I held it in place, touching the bottom of his chin and keeping it upward, "I was not the only one who lost a babe; you did too. Alone you had to deal with waves upon waves of hardship, struggling to carry me as well."

Married as long as we, the union was never so simple or functioned to perfection. No marriage ever did, it constantly evolved along with the two people involved, as they shifted and changed with age and experiences, and this was just another prime example of how we would add another improvement to solidify our bond.

"The words to express how sorry I am do not exist; but we cannot continue lumbering our sorrows separately. I am thankful for you telling me this. That you gave me insight into that head of yours. Because the only way we can get through the years, is to carry the sorrow equally."

The fingers on my left hand peaked out from the bandages, and he stroked the opal silver band, tenderly; my wedding ring.

"Together, as one."

"Now and always," I promised, hell-bent in keeping it sealed with a kiss.

A soft nock echoed in the room and the door opened as well as our world to the outside, easy to forget in moments like this that other people existed beyond us two.

"I hope I'm not intruding."

Thorin's growl suggested otherwise, but to my surprise he claimed, "Not at all, my Lord Elrond."

A title and a name for the elf!

How hard did I knock my head? For now I was convinced I had become delusional, though a quick pinch to the thigh and my husband was still clasping arms with the elf he called Elrond.

Neither old nor young, there was a humbleness that you could recognise and made conversation flow, seeing as he did not impose intimidation like other elves, because of his immortality. His wisdom, it was effortless and delivered casually in that same way Gandalf did.

"Your kind and mine have our differences, but for saving my wife, you will always have my gratitude."

Elrond stood a good few feet taller than Thorin. As dwarves height wasn't an issue when we made up for our lack in it, with attitude and louder than life characters. Those on the other end, the elves or men, it was they who typically were the less mature and lived to regret it if they caused insult. However, Lord Elrond and my husband, they stood level with each other with mutual respect and I had to say, I liked this Elrond more and more.

"The honour is mine; and how is the patient; I trust you are well, if I have earnt your husband's thankfulness."

He strode towards me with his robes scarcely brushing the floor, considerate, not pitying me which I appreciated considering the story of my arrival.

No aches or pains, my head throbbed a bit, although I had been crying and couldn't remember the last thing I had eaten, so besides that I was pretty much intact.

"I'd say so."

"Gaia," Thorin started, "this is the Lord of Rivendell and it was by his healing you are in as fit a state as any."

Healed by the high lord himself, I had figured as much, save for his full title.

"Then from the patient's own mouth, I too give you my thanks."

He hummed, studying me further rather than accepting my word, just to be on the safe side I'm sure, considering a dwarves pride.

"Undoubtedly, you might have some nausea, some light headedness…"

My brows rose impressed that he caught the minor details I had kept to myself.

"That will be from the hunger."

At that, my stomach snarled like the beast that put me in this position, amusing my company and taking me off guard and then I knew true illusion while imagining some sort of meat in front of me.

"Ten days…I'd say those bandages are about ready to come off. If indeed you are in fine health? Otherwise, I will have some food brought to your room, after that I advise you to take some air. It is a fine day for it."

A breeze rolled in through the window in invitation, calling to that part of me that was nurtured by my father's adventuring, travelling beyond the mountain confines of our home that on a few occasions could seem rather stifling when you have seen what the outdoors has to offer. Even when made a princess and my duties kept me bound to Erebor, I still strolled to the city of Dale often, canopied by trees and cushioned by grass along the way.

His work done, Elrond inclined his head tipping his lengthy hair over his shoulders, taking his leave.

Alone with my husband again, he motioned to my tight coverings, "Here you best let me do that."

The sleeve of the dress I wore was considerately pinned to not get in the way, while the left arm was indisposed, knotted in a material I refused to believe was a common bandage when it felt just like silk.

Still a nuisance in any case, Thorin untied me cautiously, attentive to what lurked under the dressing, as he unwound it, then as the tightness eased and the binding dropped onto the bed, Thorin stepped back in awe.

"What is it?" I asked, looking before he could answer and reflected his complete wonder and surprise, mixed in with a dash of scepticism.

Angry and red, the flesh had knitted itself together save a minor gap that was no more than what a graze would take off a layer of skin, raised where the claws had punctured my chainmail and strived to drag themselves longer around my torso.

One near the collar bone, the second my breast and the rest my ribs, they were impressive keepsakes of our journey thus far, but would in no way compromise our departure any further than they had already.

"There is magic in Lord Elrond's healing," Thorin gasped and while I stood half naked with him gawking at me, the door to the room opened again, only without a nock.

Springing into action, I shrieked and darted off to a partition, hastily slipping my arms into the dress and fixing the bodices draw strings, during which Thorin thanked the intruders for the food Lord Elrond had said he'd send to us.

The minute I heard the door latch, I appeared again, red cheeked and fuming at Thorin's grin.

"Now that could have been a scandalous predicament!" he laughed.

"Oh please," I picked up a delicious cluster of bright, green grapes and began to chew furiously, loading my hand with a second helping, "we weren't doing anything."

Before I could devour them all, Thorin pinched the fruit from my grasp and winked at me, "Even elves make assumptions."

* * *

The stone pathways were warm under my bare feet, deciding against my heavy footwear. From all the running we did and striving to stick to a map, it was nice to savour a peaceful walk around a garden, going where it bade us.

A leisurely stroll with my husband in an elven house.

What an unexpected turn in events.

There was something special with Rivendell, it seemed to live and breathe with us as we explored it, undiminished by season itself it seemed as parts of autumn mingled with summer and spring, the autumnal colours mixed with the lush and vibrant, with blooms springing from the ground, some of which I wasn't aware grew in this part of the earth.

Always a bit more to discover and no knowing what you'll find around every corner, a cluster of dwarves drunk on elven wine and aiming their daggers at an apple atop Ori's head, was not I suspected, the intended sight the creator of this noble house intended.

"What exactly is going on here?"

Tranquillity damned! I may never have a moment's peace from this mischievous lot, or at least I had to be unconscious and wounded to find any.

Apparently it had been Fili's turn to take the shot and the best way he found to keep his balance was on one leg, distrusting his stance and thinking the wobbling in his leg would better his chances in hitting his small target, along with his tongue stuck out the side of his mouth.

However, his attention was on a short span and as soon as he heard my voice, he spun around to greet us, throwing the knife at the same time, Thorin managed to duck us in cover.

The dagger rung as it bounced off a stone wall behind us.

Dwalin was the closest to the foolish boy who had been enjoying the tomfoolery as much as everyone else until Thorin and I appeared, resuming the stoic warrior's role again and nocking Fili off his feet completely in payment for nearly impaling either his aunt or uncle.

 _"_ _Aren't you a sight for sore eyes!"_

 _"_ _Aunt Gaia, thank Durin!"_

 _"_ _Have a nice snooze did you!"_

 _"_ _You gave us a fright lass, I won't deny it!"_

 _"_ _Milady, we've bin worried abou' ye!"_

A chorus of well wishes and glad tidings filled my ears from the company, which strung together into an incomprehensible sound, but the goodwill and care was clear enough and I was glad to feel the vibrations of their wild characters, being just what I needed for that extra kick to get me back to being Gaia.

"Goodness I'm flattered; I didn't think you would all miss me that much!"

Encircled by a good portion, I was pulled every which way as the enquiries to my state continued, until Oin had his say, being the only one in our group with any medical experience, shooing them off with his trumpet still stuck out his ear.

"Alright, alright, don't suffocate the girl!"

Balin and Dwalin were the last to abide to Oin's orders and they kept nearby, with the eldest brother laying a kindly hand on my arm, "It's never the same without ye, milady."

I bowed my head in appreciation, beaming at all their tributes that still don't fail to surprise me, but title or no; dwarves were devoted to their kin.

"I see you have been keeping yourselves occupied in our absence."

I tried to distract the attention away, having had just about enough of me and catch up on the past ten days, which I trust has put the elves food to the test, as well as their wine it seems, as I noted Dwalin's red cheeks, for the warrior was powerless to refuse a drink, even if it didn't appeal to his taste buds, preferring potency over sweetness.

"Oh uh, just a little game the lads came up with."

His excuse didn't fly, so he resorted to honesty, groaning, "We've been bored out our minds."

Spinning a dagger between his fingers, kili slipped it back in its sheath, kicking the ground, "There's nothing to do around here!"

"Have you tried a walk?" I suggested, having come from one.

"Ha!" echoed a laugh, with the hobbit appearing around a bush, "I did make the offer for them to join me, but this was their other plans to excuse themselves. I mean honestly have you taken a look around, this place well, I've only ever dreamed of coming here!"

Spinning on his heel, the hobbit's enthusiasm was understandable, a far cry from his modest shire and I suspected he had travelled here plenty, only his imaginings were now reality which rarely happened for a person.

"Aye," drawled Nori, "it's… nice."

"It's…" quipped Dori and failing, nudging his young sibling who had an apt for writing and yet coming up with no other word than 'green.'

"Is that really the best you can do?" Bilbo sighed, defeated.

I chuckled, "It's not worth trying to culture them Bilbo, most have never read a book or are happy to keep inside the Blue Mountains, like the hermits they are."

Pretending to be aghast, kili was dusting his brother off, "Fili, are you gonna stand there and let her dish that out at us!"

I folded my arms, noticing the scars had stopped tickling, "Please, you couldn't knock me down if you tried for a hundred years!"

Twirling his braided moustache in regard of me, Fili had a cheeky gleam in his eye.

"You know I think I'm gonna call her bluff, I mean when have you actually seen her fight kili; and arrows don't count."

Kili's grin faltered, "Hey, arrows count!"

"I'm sorry," I replied, hounding on the pair, "are you antagonising your aunt?"

Dori perched down on a stone bench, tutting, "The youth of today, they have got no respect for their elders."

I winced, "Ease off the elders part Dori. Though I do agree with you."

The wheels in my head were turning and I was ready for some physical therapy, rolling my shoulder and noting a little stiffness.

"Here Bilbo," I pressed a hand on his back and guided him next to Dori, never releasing my nephews from my glare, "you take a seat and watch someone with a little more skill than throwing daggers at apples. So, which one is brave enough?"

Terrified, Kili's back was bolt upright, wagging a finger at his brother, "Oh don't look at me; he's the one who challenged you."

"I uh," Fili mumbled, still in the throes of drunkenness "to be honest I'm seeing double at the moment."

The rest remained silent, avoiding my scrutiny.

"No one, are you all so afraid of a woman?"

When was the last I had fought or trained, I wondered.

With father as my master, I couldn't find a teacher with greater respect for the weapons he crafted and wielded. His first lesson; it was an incredible gift to be underestimated.

On that account, as a girl and small, I would never be disappointed.

Their guard will be down until it was too late, because my size meant swiftness. Their jeering gave me pause for thought, predicting where my foes wrist will hold and move the blade before they even knew. It was all about judgment and footwork, a dance intertwined with severe determination to win.

Mighton skipped right over wooden swords to steel soon as I asked to be trained, claiming no one would be swinging wood at me less they were desperate and the acquaintance with the materiel and how it sung when struck, would be a great indicator to the music of each fight coordination, that the clunk of wood ruined.

Swords were meant to cause damage, the quicker I understood that, the sooner I learnt that the edge of the blade must be avoided and the older I got, the less my father managed to cause a scratch here and there, which were lessons in my ability to bleed same as everyone else.

Alongside him I crafted a few, until I gained the reputation of a woman who many didn't know where the steel ended and flesh began.

The majority of my adolescence was spent on the road away from Erebor, so when I caught wind of the fact that the place of my birth was holding a tourney, I took it as a sign.

"I'll give it a go."

That was a sense of déjà vu. If I remember correctly, I had heard this claim before.

Disguised in plain armour with no emblem, a helmet that covered my face, I had entered the tourney under no name, until the title stranger became admired with every victory, praised by many and chanted by far more.

From sunrise to sunset my axe and sword remained unwavering by exhaustion, then the last competitor stepped forward to meet me in the ring.

I had championed over one prince, but this was the brother who too had laughed at my will to fight as children. Thrain's heir was secretly discouraged by his fellow comrades.

I could not be defeated.

But still he said, 'I'll give it a go.'

My heart leapt and my smile brightened, "What so you can be beaten again Oakensheild."

There was a secret that stirred between us, connecting our memories that I thought our stares might project it, since we both could see it so clearly before us.

"Aww, you're in for a treat now lads. The rematch that was always meant to be!"

Taking a turnabout the space to clear it, Dwalin was bursting with enthusiasm hooking Kili and Fili around the necks to make sure they didn't miss a thing; eager for us to begin.

"Rematch, you mean they fought before?" Bilbo asked confused, sitting on his hands.

Balin tapped his chin, "Haven't you noticed Thorin's scar?"

I was sure everyone did now if they hadn't before.

"Axe or sword, milady?"

Swinging his weapon of choice, it wasn't the same which Thorin had set out with. At a quick glance the knowledge of smiths my father passed on to me recognised the single-edged blade, finding the multitude of sword making to get it into its final form breath taking, seeing as the metal-crafting and woodworking techniques, didn't follow one path of craftsmanship and was the absolute epitome of the word.

"An upgrade I see. Sword please."

"Here!"

Balin flung his for me to catch. The flat-blade wrought in a coppery hue caught the light and shone like a flame in my hands, pointed like a star at the end. It was a unique design compared with all others and a signature flare my father added to all his blades. Bearing it in my grasp it was like he was here with me and I got into position, teasingly assessing the sharpness.

"Now on the count of three, you may begin to disarm; only disarm mind you, we need no more casualties here."

I suppose they were all wondering what possessed the ever so protective Thorin to indulge in his wife's antics, having not long suffered a significant injury and I counted on that.

As he said he would, Balin counted down slowly; almost uncertain if he should say the last number, but alas, Dwalin couldn't contain himself any longer and bellowed 'THREE!' deafening my nephews.

Metal on metal, images of our last fight flashed in my mind. Hacking and slashing, our arms crossed to block and deliver. Spinning added more momentum to your attack and if you were quick like me, you could get in at least three in a row, alternating between directions to throw your opponent off balance, which worked until Thorin strived to dodge my sword instead of meeting it with his, so while I swung, an opening presented itself, so the sole action I could take was bring the blade under instead, while he expected me to remain standing straight. As a result, I avoided contact with his blade and swept my husband off his feet, knocking the air out his lungs.

The experienced fighters cheered and applauded my skill, while the others stood flabbergasted.

"Is this really happening!" Kili exclaimed, wide-eyed like a child,

"Better believe it lad," Dwalin replied.

I crouched over Thorin, careful not to get too close, "seems the group is having doubts about you husband."

His legs flung back and then forwards and the force brought Thorin back up to his feet.

"It would seem so."

Thorin then proceeded to lunge and stab and I blocked, guiding his blade left, right, left, right.

"Having fun," he shouted for me to hear over the ruckus and I twirled around to break the pattern.

"The most I've had in years."

Banter was a natural reflex for fighting, Thorin had dished it out during our last conflict and it was difficult to remain silent through it all.

I aimed close to the wrist, since we were disarming, with a plan. Too close to the wrist and failing to disarm, a worthy foe will turn the move against you, wielding his sword from beneath yours, which transpired and jolted my left shoulder until we unlocked.

Hissing in pain, I grabbed where there was no injury unbeknownst to our spectators, triggering Thorin's protectiveness nonetheless, despite knowing full well I was fine.

His grip waned with my cry and just like that, I dove and nocked it finally free.

"You hesitated."

Panting, Thorin laughed out loud, "twice in my lifetime!"

Truth is, I had met my match in Thorin, I had known it the first time we locked blades and the sense just overcomes you, for no other reason than instinct. In the tourney, I was going to lose, I knew and so did he, But I had a trick up my sleeve, the same as I just had.

Our swords closely locked, with my helmed face inches away from Thorin's, I finally replied to his jesting.

 _'_ _Really Thorin, would you harm an old friend?'_

My voice had altered since he and his family bade my father off with me in tow. We had been children, so I don't think he recognised me as Gaia, but hesitated because I was a woman and I head butted him, which earnt Thorin the scar and allowed me to do as I had now, winning the tourney.

When king Thror named me champion, it was then I removed my helm, giving the stranger a name at last, when my green eyes and curly hair was unmistakably mine of course, unforgettable features according to my husband, who reminded his grandfather of Mighton's daughter, gasping my name.

I had to admit though, I was impressed by my display here while wearing a dress, which I had ripped, though it wasn't likely anyone would have worn it after me, considering they must have hemmed it a good couple of inches for it to fit, and waving the skirt, I could see Thorin's amusement too.

"A champion you remain," he cooed, well accustomed to the curl touching my cheek and tucking it back in place, following to the back of my neck, "But a dirty trick, my love."

I grinned unable to deny it and tilted my toes to kiss him, hearing a mixture of reactions to our very public display of affection.

"Oh go and ruin the moment by doing THAT why don't you!" an offended nephew screamed.

* * *

 **After a long absence, I finally feel inspired to continue my tales. I have to apologise, and please feel free to leave a review. thank you x**


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